𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥𝘺 - 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙮'𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙮 (ON HOLD)

thirty - five - "PTSD" - thirty - five

"Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing. It was for the high, the rush, the thrill that comes from cutting someone open and saving their life. For me it was different, maybe it was because I grew up in a house with four sisters. No, definitely because I grew up in a house with four sisters because it was the quiet that drew me to surgery. The operating room is a quiet place. Peaceful. It has to be in order for us to stay alert, anticipate complications. When you stand in the OR, your patient open on the table, all the worlds noise, all the worry that it brings disappears. A calm settles over you, time passing without thought. For that moment, you feel completely at peace. Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing. The high, the rush, the thrill of the cut. For me it was the quiet. Peace isn’t a permanent state. It exists in moments. Fleeting. Gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time, in a stranger’s act of kindness, a task that requires complete focus or simply the comfort of an old routine. Everyday we all experience these moments of peace. The trick is to know when they’re happening so that we can embrace them, live in them. And finally let them go."
-Derek Shepherd, S6E7, "Give Peace A Chance"

"It’s impossible to describe the panic that comes over you when you’re a surgeon and your pager goes off in the middle of the night. Your heart starts to race. Your mind freezes. Your fingers go numb. You’re invested. There’s someone’s mom, someone’s dad, someone’s kid. And now it’s on you because that someone’s life is in your hands. As surgeons, we’re always investing in our patients. But when your patient’s a child, you’re not just invested, you’re responsible. Responsible for whether or not that child survives, has a future. And that’s enough to terrify anyone. They say the bigger your investment, the bigger your return. But you have to be willing to take a chance. You have to understand, you might lose it all. But if you take that chance, if you invest wisely, the payoff might just surprise you."
-Meredith Grey, S6E8, "Invest in Love"

"Doctors live in a world of constant progress and forward motion. Stand still for a second, and you'll be left behind. But as hard as we try to move forward, as tempting as it is to never look back, the past always comes back to bite us in the ass. And as history shows us again and again, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. And sometimes the past is something we'll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present."
-Meredith Grey, S6E9, "New History"

"The best gift I ever got was for Christmas when I was ten, my very first suture kit. I used it until my fingers bled and then I tried to use it to stitch up my fingers. It put me on the path to becoming a surgeon. My point is, sometimes the best gifts come in really suprising packages. Everday we get to give the gift of life. It can be painful, it can be terrifying but in the end it's worth it, every time. We all have the oppertunity to give. Maybe the gifts are not as dramatic as what happens in the operating room. Maybe the gift is to try and make a simple apology. Maybe it's to understand another person's point of view. Maybe it’s to hold a secret for a friend. The joy supposedly is in the giving, so when the joy is gone, when the giving starts to feel more like a burden, that’s when you stop. But if you’re like most people I know, you give till it hurts, and then you give some more."
-Meredith Grey, S6E10, "Holidaze"

"Look who's back!"

"Hey!" Anna waved to Alex, Owen, Cristina, Lexie, Mark, Miranda, Richard, Arizona, and Callie.

Meredith and Derek followed her to the nurses station as everyone crowded around her.

"How was California?" Lexie asked.