𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥𝘺 - 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙮'𝙨 𝘼𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙮 (ON HOLD)

eighty - eight - "ortho goddess" - eighty - eight

"There is a portion of the cerebral cortex of your brain folded deep within an area between the temporal and frontal lobes. It's called the insula and it's where desire starts. The insula is only about the size of a pea, but what it triggers in our bodies, and by extension in our lives, can be epic. We'd like to imagine that we're in control, but more often than not, the chemicals in our brain control us. The insula lights up and we're compelled to change our lives. Compelled by longing. Compelled by yearning. Compelled by desire for more."
-Meredith Grey, S15E1, "With a Wonder and a Wild Desire"

"Just like we need food and water, humans need each other. A brain study revealed that when placed in an MRI, a patient's reward center lit up when another person sat in the room. Neurons fire when we talk to someone, think about someone, and they go haywire when we hold someone's hand. Our brains and bodies are actually programmed to seek each other out and connect. So then why do so many people prefer being alone? Why do we often run for the hills when we feel the slightest connection? Why we do we feel compelled to fight what we're hardwired to do? Maybe it's because when we find someone or something to hold onto, that feeling becomes like air. And we're terrified we're going to lose it. And trust me, you can get pretty good at the alone thing. But most things are better when they're shared with someone else."
-Meredith Grey, S15E2, "Broken Together"

"In the early days of medicine, surgical students would perfect their sewing techniques on tree branches. Because when looking at an exposed bone in an amputation, human instinct is to recoil, not cut. We needed students to get out of the habit of listening to instinct. A lot of our training is breaking instinct, developing new habits. Don't react to bad news in front of patients. Don't show fear when faced with uncertainty. When you're looking at that exposed bone, cut. So the trick is trying to stay human when we’ve shut down all those gut feelings, all those messy instincts. So what about those times when there is no road map? Should we go with our gut then? If instinct is all we have, it's not always a bad thing. It can bring us wonderful places, joyful places. And it can also serve an important service, 'cause our gut is usually what warns us when trouble lies ahead."
-Meredith Grey, S15E3, "Gut Feeling"

[a/n: since we're on season 15, and another year has gone by according to the show's timeline, anna is now 23, zola is 8, bailey is 5, and ellis 4. technically, they all would be a few years older but i didn't age them up each season. i've only aged them when it makes sense in this story.]

"Amelia's doing good, right?" Betty asks Anna, taking a seat on the couch beside her as Anna holds her infant son, Leo, in her arms.

"She seems like it." Anna nods, "She's been so happy since you and Leo... Owen, too. Do they seem happy to you?"

"Yeah. Owen really cares for Leo," Betty comments, running a knuckle softly over her son's cheek, "And Amelia seems happy. They just seem like a couple, you know? Even if they say they're not together."

"It's complicated between them. They're divorced. I just want my Aunt to be happy... I don't want her relying on people for happiness like in the past. I want her to be good first before she decides whatever she decides. And I know she won't rush into anything because of you two. The same goes for Owen. They're not just thinking of themselves right now."

"They want a family." Betty tells her, "I know how much they want that. They're so good to Leo. And to me. I'm thankful for everything that they're doing, I am, but it's still hard. There's so many people around ready to help..."

"But they can't really help you if you don't want to help yourself." Anna finishes, shifting Leo in her lap, "I don't know anything about addiction, personally, and I'm not going to give you advice about that. All I can say is... you're Leo's mom. You clearly want the best for him. You want him here, right? With Owen and Amelia?"