In the couple of months since Tiffany left, Taeyeon finds out that time flies not only when you're having fun but also when you're swamped with work—or at least when you try to drown yourself in it.
It's past seven o'clock when she signs the last piece of paper and hands it over to her assistant. "That's it?"
"Yes, Miss Taeyeon."
"Are you sure? There's nothing else for me to sign or read or approve?"
"That's the last of it, at least for now. Go home, Miss Kim. Enjoy your weekend," says Minah with a smile.
"Thanks," mumbles Taeyeon with a nod as her assistant leaves the quiet office.
She swivels around in her chair and looks out the large window, staring at the dark city. Small lights dot the skyline since it's night time—the time of the day she has grown to hate most. It's too quiet, too cold, too lonely... too painful. A time when all the memories, thoughts and what-ifs attack her mind mercilessly; and she can't do anything about it.
Suddenly she sees her reflection in the glass and sneers because she looks as bad as she feels so she immediately looks away.
There was a time when she could just party her loneliness and pain away, drowning them in alcohol, smoke, drugs and in the arms of countless, faceless women.
All that changed when her parents told her that they would give her the dream and freedom she always wanted in exchange for a stable life with one, fixed partner—one that was offered to them and her. It seemed like a crazy idea back then but now...
Her gaze falls on the digital frame perched on the side of her desk. It's the one Tiffany gave her for their first anniversary. She turns it on and a series of images flickers across the small screen. Memories. Her.
They're too painful to see so she takes a deep breath and turns it off, deciding to just leave the office.
She walks out of the dimmed and quiet floor—everyone has gone home since it's Friday—and into the elevator. As she rides it down to the basement parking lot, she considers hitting the club just for the sake of some extra hours away from home, their home, because another lonely night in the vast penthouse feels too depressing.
But after she gets into the car and starts the engine, she realizes that she can't bear to end up in someone else's arms. It will not be satisfying anyway because she only wants that one woman.
Taeyeon scoffs at her own timidity. How the mighty player has fallen.
She tries to think of other possible destinations but every place that comes to mind only reminds her of Tiffany so she decides to just go back to the confines of her room and sets a goal to empty her liquor cabinet. Maybe that could knock her unconscious for the rest of the weekend.
—-
Taeyeon draws herself a bath and puts the wine bottles next to the tub before stepping in the warm water.
She sighs and closes her eyes, leaning her head on the edge of the tub as she tries to relax and empty her mind although she isn't sure how. She hasn't relaxed in months—not since she was left sobbing in that corridor.
Her hand searches blindly for one of the wine bottles and she takes a swig, not even caring to use a glass.
She manages to drain its content in record time and drops the empty bottle onto the floor. She is ready to reach for the second one when a thought hits her. Maybe being submerged under water can help me relax. It's warm and it'll block all noises... maybe even silence the voices in my head.
