serendipity x shawn mendes

fifteen

• andrea •

"Andrea, what are you not telling me?" Shawn asks impatiently as I stand there with my mouth closed. I am such an idiot.

I never wanted to tell Shawn that I now knew his ex girlfriend Bella, at least not yet. I didn't want to be the one telling him that she now had a boyfriend, and that boyfriend was my twenty year old brother.

"Andrea are you going to fucking tell me or not?!"

"Don't yell at me." I snap, glaring at him. "Okay, I've known for a while that Bella has a new boyfriend, and her boyfriend is my brother, Cameron."

He looks at me for a long time, and I feel my cheeks start to get hot so I look away.

"How come you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't really feel like getting into it." I shrug, looking at him sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

"She said she missed me..." he says quietly, almost in a whisper. "Do you think she was lying?"

I sigh and hold out my hand. "Let me see the conversation."

He shifts uncomfortable on his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Um."

"Just show me."

He huffs and takes his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and pulling up the conversation. When I see the picture she sent, I feel awfully uncomfortable.

"It's fucking October, why does this bitch barely have clothes on?" Is what I say about the picture and that causes Shawn to let out a laugh.

He takes his phone back from me and puts it back in its place inside his pocket. Shawn looks really upset and I didn't know what to do. In fact, he looked like he could burst into tears any second. I wouldn't know what to do if he cried, and God I hoped that he wasn't an overly sensitive boy. I can't handle someone who cries 24/7.

"I hate this." he mumbles. "I hate feeling like this... so empty."

I step forward and engulf him into a hug. I am so much smaller than he is, yet he's the vulnerable one in this situation. He rests his chin on the top of my head and hugs me back, sighing.

It doesn't take long for us to break apart when we hear the doors open next to us. Out comes Luke along with the boy he was literally just fighting twenty minutes ago.

"Andrea!" Luke grins when he sees me, nodding at the other boy to come with him towards me. "You've met Calum, right?" he asks, gesturing towards the boy. I shake my head and Luke raises his eyebrows. "Oh, my bad. I thought you guys met before."

"I'm confused," Shawn speaks up and Luke averts his attention to him. "Weren't you guys like, just basically trying to kill each other?"

Calum shrugs. "We had a misunderstanding."

I don't understand some boys. Then again, nobody understands me. Not even myself sometimes.

"You sure you don't wanna come hang with us, like last time?" Luke is smirking at me once again and even though he's so attractive, I have to resist. He's almost four years older than me.

"I'm sorry, but no. I'll see you around, Luke. Oh and nice meeting you Calum." I wave politely at them and they walk away into the parking lot.

I look at Shawn. "Well this Halloween sucks."

"It's not over yet." He smiles. "Come on, we're in Chicago. Let's go walk downtown or something. I don't think it's very far."

We're gonna get lost, and then we are gonna lose Sam and Matt, and then everything will go wrong and I'll get in trouble tomorrow with my parents. But right now, I didn't care.

We walked for a while until we were finally where we were supposed to be. It was kind of peaceful with the lights and the very few people walking around, the dark sky and the moon has always been my two favorite things together.

"So... what's up with you and Matt?" Shawn asks me after a while of us silently walking and looking around.

"What do you mean?"

"You guys just, I don't know, seem like you have something going on." he shrugs, frowning at the ground. As we walked, our arms brushed up against each other's but I didn't really mind.

"We don't. We've kissed once, but nothing came out of it." I explain and he nods, though he doesn't seem convinced. I don't see why he'd care anyway, it's not like he has any feelings for me or anything. He still loves Bella.

"Can I hold your hand?" He then asks me, looking down at our hands swaying next to each other. He smiles shyly which I find adorable.

I nod and he slips his fingers into the spaces between mine. After our hands intertwine, he lets out what sounds like a sigh of relief. "This just makes me feel less empty." he says quietly, nodding towards our interlocked hands.

I wanted to tell him that it made me feel less empty, too, but I just smiled instead and we kept walking.

xxx

it's friday night & i'm sitting on the couch staring at my christmas tree