Different IRL

Chapter 10

Just who the hell does he think he is? Talking to and touching me the way he did. This is bull twinkies, and I'm not about to put up with it any longer. The next time I see him in class, I'm gonna tell him if he touches my chair one more time or gets too close, I'm gonna...gonna...I don't know. That's okay. I'll come up with something. In the meantime, I need to restore the natural rhythm of my day. Lately, ever since that stupid party, my thoughts are consumed with him.

His stormy gray eyes, his full smooth lips, his straight nose, his razor sharp jaw, his pierced ears, his tattooed head, neck, hands and probably whole body, his slicked back brown hair, and most of all, his tongue ring he plays with, with his white straight teeth! Crap. What the hell is wrong with me? Did I not just agree with myself to forget about this guy? But what am I doing? Drooling over him. Drooling over his Satan level sexiness. Dammit. Dammit all to hell!

This wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe if I dissect and study my infatuation, because that's all it is, I can squash this. Okay. First of all, I will admit that he's a Satan. We all know this. Me and Kiki have agreed. Where's my journal and pen? Looking around, I see it on my nightstand and grab it. I need to write this all out. I'm so glad Kiki decided to go to the art lab after school. I really need to be alone right now.

Plumping my pillow up against the headboard of my bed, I snuggle under my blanket and settle the journal in my lap. Now where was I? I wish I had a hot drink. Damn. Should I get one? I'm too lazy. Biting on my pen, I stare at the crisp white page. There's nothing better than the first page of a clean journal. The world is my oyster! Heh. I shake my head.

"Focus!"

Mkay. Numero uno. I admit he is a Satan level. The first step is always the hardest. Now that I have this established, I must move forward with number two. This man seems interested in me. This must be because I look like an easy target. He only wants one thing...my virtue! I surprise myself with this thought because, quite frankly, it never dawned on me. This dude only wants into my panties! Not. Going. To happen. No way. I am not losing my V card to Satan.

 One look at him would tell anyone that he's been around the block more than one hundred times. I, on the other hand, haven't even been to first base. Actually, I haven't even touched the grass of the playing field let alone seen the playing field. There's no way I'm going to embarrass myself in front of Satan like that. And there's no way I'm going to waste my precious gift on him either.

I snort. My precious gift. My virtue. My maidenhead. There's so many different ways to describe ones virginity. Do I really care about mine? I'm not sure. It's not like I'm protecting it with a chastity belt. And it's not about saving it for marriage. Dragging my lip between my teeth, I glance out the window and watch a leaf fly by. It's a deep red reminding me of blood.

I wonder if losing my virginity will hurt. Thinking about it, it's kind of scary. I could never admit that childish thought to anyone. Not even Kiki. She would scoff and tell me to get it over with already. That I'm missing out. But she's tougher than me. I wish I was tougher. I wish I could get over some of the fears I have. Thinking back, maybe I did shy away from relationships in high school because of the fear of what was to come. I mean, who could blame me? I can imagine it now. A giant torpedo launching between my legs to breach an entrance that has been sealed for years and years and years. Yeah. No thanks. I squeeze my legs together and shiver. How did I end up so off track? Ugh.

Directing my thoughts back to my paper, I realize I've jotted down two points so far. Okay. Third. I need to shut down Satan. But how? Tapping my pen against my lips, I squeeze my eyes shut searching my brain for ideas. Come on brain, don't fail me now. How can I thwart my suitor? Oh! I got it! I will pretend to have a boyfriend. Yeah. When Satan pulls me close to him, I'll just tell him to please stop because I have a boyfriend. He'll stop and that will be the end of that.