Different IRL

Chapter 18

Kiki's POV

I was wondering when the package would arrive. I was hoping that it wouldn't. He doesn't know anything about this stuff, and lord knows I've been trying to educate. I'm just not too sure the lessons are sinking in. Today is the day, I suppose. As a precaution, I'm gonna re-teach what I instructed so as to avoid any casualties. Hopefully, it'll go well.

Thinking back on everything, I'm not too confident. From the day I first saw him, I was blinded by his good looks. He was nothing but a nice slab of delicious man meat. While not a Satan rating, he came in at a strong Devil level. The problem? He's dumb. Yup. My devil boyfriend is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Yeah, he can do book work just fine and all, but common sense is a little lacking. Poor kid. All is well though, he has me in his life now. And, don't get me wrong, he has a ton of good qualities which is why I'm with him. I'm just a whole lot smarter.

When he told me he wanted to stretch his ears like mine, well, let's just say I didn't get a good feeling. The boy is a little on the impatient side. And to stretch ears, ya need patience. Lord knows it took me forever and a day to do mine. Better to take forever than suffer a blowout.

Tearing open the package, I pull out the kit that did me good. Stainless steel tapers are the way to go, in my opinion. The only thing I worry about is how big of a baby he's gonna be about this. Come time for shoving a six in an eight hole, isn't gonna feel good. Whatever. I'm just glad I told him I'd order the kit so that it would arrive at my place rather than his. Wouldn't want him taking matters into his own hands.

"Hey babe," Alex smiles wide, his pearly whites working a piece of gum.

"Hey. Was my door unlocked?" I thought I locked that sucker. Oh well. Guess not.

"Yup. All right! My gauge kit came," he fist pumps. "Lemme see."

"It's a stretching kit, but yeah."

Here we go. Why do I feel like he's gonna grab the biggest size and try to shove it into his virgin holes?

"I bet I can get this in. It ain't that big. Did it come with oil?"

"Yeah, here. But I don't recommend you start big, dude," I raise my voice in singsong.

"Lemme just try it. Come on. We'll do this in the bathroom."

"My bathroom is too small for the both of us, but alright."

Opting for sitting on the toilet, I flip the lid down and sit without saying a word as he lubes up his ears with jojoba oil. He's not gonna get this piece of metal into his ear hole. Why doesn't he just listen to me? Oh yeah. He dumb. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I go into the music app and search taps. He's gonna need some sort of farewell song. Mhm. I find it and the lone sound of a bugle plays. Bwah, bwah, bwaaaah, bwah, bwah, bwaaaahhhhhh.

"Babe, why are you playing...fuck! Goddamnit, that fucking hurt. Son of a bitch." He rubs his ear dropping the metal taper into the sink.

"Are ya bleeding?" I know he's bleeding. He's gotta be.

"No," he glares at me.

"Lies."

"Shut it, Kiki. I mean it."

This requires a standing position. There's no way in hell I just heard what I think I heard. This devil didn't seriously tell me to shut up, did he? Oh, he's a dead man. No one tells me to shut up. Fuck that.

"I know you didn't," my jaw grinds.

"Didn't what?" he challenges.

"You didn't tell me to shut up."