"I can't do this," Charlotte moaned as she settled back into bed after another disrupted night of sleep. She was near the end of her first trimester of her pregnancy, but her morning sickness had lasted longer than the midwife said it would. She and Charles were already stressed and worried enough without having to throw a worrisome pregnancy into the mix – what with the racing season beginning again in a few weeks and Charlotte's university assignments and exams seeming to pile up, it was just a rather stressful time.
Charlotte was no fool, she knew that this pregnancy would be tough on her mental and physical well-being as her family had a history of miscarriages and acute morning sickness which had been confirmed by her midwife but now her only worry was how she was going to cope when Charles was off racing. He was a crucial part of support group and without him beside her every step of the way, there was no telling how long it was until she'd succumb to the stress of it and breakdown.
"Come here, are you ok?" Charles said opening his arms so that she could settle into them and rest her head on his chest. This was one of the favourite pastimes. Simply being in each other's present and cuddling; in silence or to chat, it didn't matter. As Charles closed his arms around her, he couldn't help but think of what his life would be like if he didn't have Charlotte. She was his one and only, and it was thoughts like these that kept him up all night worrying and stressing about the safety of his love and future child.
It was generally these times when he lay awake in the peace of the night that he allowed himself to reflect on his relationship with Charlotte; how he loved to play with your hair, how he loved to watch you as you tried to concentrate on you schoolwork, how he loved to cuddle you, and his most recent favourite thing to do – how he loved to rub her bump. She wasn't showing yet but just knowing that there was a human growing inside of her, his son or daughter, was enough for him.
"I'm scared Charles," She mumbled as she snuggled closer to him. Charlotte didn't know what to feel. On one hand she was overjoyed and beyond excited for her first child but on the other hand, she was riddled with fear.
"I know, mon amour. Let's try to get some sleep"
When Charlotte awoke at 09:00, she could smell the porridge that Charles made for her on a daily basis as it seemed to be one of the only foods that she could keep down due to her morning sickness. However, that didn't stop her from racing past him and into the bathroom as she neared the kitchen and was able to smell his breakfast. A breakfast that use to have been a favourite of hers but now she couldn't stomach the smell of; eggs. As she was vomiting into the toilet, she could hear Charles run after her and grab her hair to prevent her from getting sick on it and rubbing soothing circles on her back which helped calm her tears and shakes. After what seemed like forever, Charlotte stopped being sick and stopped quivering, and with Charles' help she stood up from the toilet and leaned against the his and hers sinks that occupied one wall of the bathroom. Charles ran out of the bathroom only to return with a glass of water and a tissue, both of which he handed to Charlotte.
"How are you feeling now, mon amour?"
"Hungry" Charlotte replied. This scenario had played out early every day since Charlotte found out she was pregnant. She was hungry but too scared to eat in case it made her sick and Charles could see the negative impacts it was having on her, from fatigue to being weak. As Charles made a move to get her some food, she voiced her disagreements but that wasn't enough to convince him and in one swift motion he lifted her up and carried her into the open plan kitchen/living space, setting her down beside the breakfast bar.
"You need to eat. I've made you porridge."
"I can't, every time I eat, I feel like I'm going to be sick" Charlotte cried, tears running down her face as Charles knelt beside her and began to wipe her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
"You need to eat," Charles repeated, "You need all the energy you can get so that in a few months' time, we'll have a healthy baby to look after. Come 'ere." Charles led her to mirror that occupied the wall in their room. He stood Charlotte in front of it and then stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "That's our baby in there and I'm so lucky to have both of you here, safe and sound." Charles moved to kneel in front of her, placing his hand on her stomach. He lightly kissed her stomach, whispering sweet nothings and well-wishes to their future child.
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