Slow Down, Fast Girl

Fresh-Man

So it's 2013 and I'm in high school now. I've made it mentally all on my own. Of course with a little help from my peers. My life at home was still the same. My cousin Janay had moved in with her boyfriend Randall. Only my cousin Akyrah and I lived there now. We never really spoke to one another. At school or at home. If we did it was never personal. If it was personal, I never told her the truth. Come on now. We're talking about the same bitch that use to lie on me back in grade school. She might've grew a little older but she was still the same underneath. She could never be trusted in my book. I made sure I stayed 10 steps ahead of her at all times. My cousin Akyrah was in the 12th grade when I began in the 9th. Luckily she only had one year left. I wouldn't be seeing much of her around school anyways. That follow the leader mentality was completely gone. I didn't give a fuck how a bitch felt about me. I was stepping into my own. The beginning of high school for me was somewhat like the beginning of middle school. I had the same friends except my bestfriend Lelani. She transferred to Hillcrest Christian Academy. She wanted to be put in her right grade so she could graduate with the correct class. I wished my bitch well and knew we would see each other again. Real friendships never die. The menu of boys at school was of a wide variety. Of course a bad bitch like me wasn't single. I had a man 1st day. Jabari. He was about 5'8. Chocolate mocha skin complexion. He was sexy as fuck and he had the prettiest smile. His body was heaven sent. I never even got a taste. Mind you, coming into high school I was still a virgin. I hadn't gone any further than 1st base with a guy. I really wasn't interested in losing my "V" card any time soon. Jabari was #5 and the star point guard on our high school basketball team. Anytime he was on that court he was unstoppable. He dunked, alley-ooped and always gave the crowd a show. He was truly breathtaking on the court. Off the court? Not so much. Being a star basketball player had its pros and cons. Pros: he was that niggah, he was destined for greatness, and everyone loved him. Cons: too many bitches wanted him. Did I mention we dated in middle school? He ask if I would be his girlfriend and I told him yes but come to find out he had a whole bitch in middle school. I was the fucking side. See, in middle school I didn't have a phone due to my aunt constantly taking it nor did I have internet to use. We were so fucking poor!! We wore the same clothes every year. We only received four new outfits a year. We had to maintain them or we would be going to school raggedy. Four shirts and four pairs of pants. Maybe a pair of shoes if there was enough. Trust and believe it was all Cititrends. Now my aunt was on disability. True enough. She was far from disabled though. We lived in a section 8 house and she received food stamps. We was on government assistance hard, as, fuck. She also received child support from my mother the entire time she had guardianship over me. Income tax time would come around and of course she sold me. Do you think I saw any of that money? No. She kept some fucking weed to smoke though. Wonder who funded that? I assume Jabari figured, since I didn't have a Facebook I would never find out about his other girl. He thought he could just have two bitches. One at school and one in his neighborhood that would give him the goods. I fucked around and got a hold of some internet. Made me a Facebook page and boom. Just like that my heart was shattered. Clear as day the niggah was cheating on me. I instantly saw red. One comment on a Facebook post led to another and we were done. So when reconsidering giving him another shot came around my high school year, I was hesitant. I'm not gone sit up here and say he begged me to come back to him. I can say the niggah did put pressure on my neck though. He wanted me. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him another chance. Silly rabbit. Everyone knows the first day of school is the most exciting yet nervous day of your life. Especially the first day of your 9th grade year. Everything was different. Everything was new. You had to find your classes on your own and no one was going to help you. New students had to all meet in the cafeteria to get their schedules. Our school was built with breezeways so you had to walk outside to get to any class. Unless you were in the 9th grade. All 9th graders took all classes in the same building except for P.E.. The cafeteria of course was a separate unit of its own but you get what I'm saying. 9th graders were basically sectioned off from the 10th, 11th and 12th graders. Jabari was in the 10th. So the first day of school I didn't get to see him. Due to the new rules and regulations that us 9th graders had to follow. So day two roles around and I finally get to see my boyfriend. I'm completely excited and ready to walk around school with him. I made sure I picked out just the right outfit. My hair was already professionally done. I was all set. The bus arrived at school and we all unloaded off of it. There he was. Standing at the top of the steps with the rest of the basketball team along with some groupies. Looking like a whole snack. I smiled at the sight of him and my heart started to beat out of my chest. I then began to walk towards him. " Hey baby, is what I said to him as I leaned in for a hug. He had this weird look on his face and he was laughing as he looked me up and down. He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me aside. Away from the steps and the rest of the team to talk to me privately. I asked him what was wrong and he replied, "what the fuck is wrong with your hair?" With a confused look on my face, come again say what, is the thought that ran through my mind. It couldn't find its way to my lips though. Instead, " What do you mean baby? You don't like it, came out of my mouth. He began to laugh and said " hell nawl, you need to take that shit down." My heart sank to my ass and my face burned with embarrassment. If my own boyfriend didn't like my hair I could only image what other people were saying. See, this is 2013 we're talking about here okay. My hair was in a half up half down doo except the part that was half up was teased and it formed a hump at the top of my head secured with bobby pins in the back. Only difference is my hump had a flat part in it so it wasn't completely up to par. I can admit it wasn't the best looking hairstyle. Plus my hair was done by a living room stylist but damn. He didn't have to just chop my head off like that in front of the whole basketball team. " Whatever Jabari, are you gonna walk me to class or what? He looks at me with this, bitch please look on his face and says, " I'll walk you to class when the bell rings." He began to walk back over to his team." Jabari, I'm gonna be late if you walk me to class as soon as the bell rings, I said. My comment fell on deaf ears because he was soon standing in the same spot. On top of those steps with his back turned against me. I was in disbelief. He was definitely acting brand new and I didn't like it one bit. As I stood in the background behind my man I grew impatient. I finally just said fuck it and walked off. I guess he turned around to see if I was still there but instead he saw the back of me walking away from him. " Aye!!Where you going? he said as he sped walk to catch up with me. " I don't know who the fuck you think I am Jabari but I'm not finna sit around and wait on you, I said. " So you just gone walk off?" "You damn right. Ion have time for no bullshit." "Man gone with allat. Come on. I'll walk you to your class." As I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth I continued to walk to class with my man. People dapped him up and stopped to speak to him every corner we turned. It made me feel special to be that lucky girl that was on his arm but the attention was also annoying. I guess he could see it all on my face. " The fuck is wrong with you, Jabari asked. " Do we have to stop and talk to everybody you see? You haven't even asked me if the transition to this new school has gone well for me or not. You really haven't said anything nice to me since we laid eyes on one another." " Here you go, Jabari said in a irritated manner. " No here you go Jabari. You acting real different right now versus a few months ago when you was trying to get with me." " Man you tripping, I'll catch up with you later." " Oh for real, That how you feel?" "Man, I'm gone." He left me standing at the doorway to the 9th grade building. All alone. In that split second of loneliness, I realized I made the wrong draft pick.