Slow Down, Fast Girl

In The State Of Alabama

It was time for our annual trip to Panama, Florida. Being on punishment sucked. Being on punishment during the summer time sucked even more. The stunt that Ermias pulled caused me to not have anything. I couldn't talk to my boyfriend Quincy. I couldn't talk to any of my friends. I couldn't even receive calls from my biological mother. I was completely shut off from the world. Only leaving my room to go to the restroom. Take a shower or eat. So when it was time for us to take our trip to Florida I was geeked. I was about to leave this prison . The sun was going to shine on my face. I would be free. " Alana, come in the living room, said my aunt. I exited my room and headed towards the living room. " Yes, mam," I said as I entered. " Do you have all of your things packed for the trip?" " Yes, mam." " Here." She hands me back my laptop. I was shocked. I smiled at the sight of it. " Thank you auntie." " Nah don't thank me just yet. Your uncle convinced me that it made no sense to waste a trip. So while we're on vacation you'll be off punishment. When we get back you will resume your punishment and I will be taking that laptop back." " Ok, I said with little enthusiasm. I packed my laptop and headed to the SUV. I gave my uncle Darnell my bag and he put it away in the trunk. We all loaded up into the car and waited for my uncle to put the hotels address in the GPS. As we were riding I noticed he missed the turn to go towards Florida. Instead he was headed downtown. 10 minutes later we pull up to the police station. " What the fuck are we doing here, I thought to myself. "Alana, get out," said my aunt. I unbuckled my seat belt and snatched my other headphone out of my ear. Wrapping the cords around my MP3 player. I opened the car door and jumped out. My aunt meets me around the side of the truck and I follow her into the police station. I wanted to ask her what we were doing there but instead I just kept my mouth shut. As soon as we entered the building I notice the direction arrows. She was headed towards the office where rape cases were filed. She knocks on the deputies door. " Come in," said a woman. My aunt opens the door and lead me into the room. " Yes mam, how may I help you," said the woman. " I would like to file a rape charge on behalf of my niece," said my aunt. My eyes grew as big as a deer's in headlights. " No, no. This can't be happening right now. I know I said I wanted him to reap some of the consequences but I didn't mean I wanted him in jail," I thought to myself. " Ok mam, what's the name of the assailant," asked the deputy. " Ermias Lee," said my aunt. " Ok just give me one moment, said the deputy as she search through misdemeanor files. I begin to fidget with my fingers and bite my lip. " He has a three year old daughter. She needs her father. I can't take him away from her. She's innocent. I still love him. My aunt is going to kill me if I don't press these charges. What the fuck am I going to do, I thought to myself. It felt as though the walls were closing in on me. I needed to make a decision. Fast. I couldn't believe the situation Ermias had put me in. All because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Maybe I should file these rape charges. At least then I'll know he'll be hurting as much as me. " Ok, is this the Ermias you're talking about, asked the deputy. She hands my aunt a piece of paper with Ermias's image printed out on the front. Along with his misdemeanor that was thrown out. " Yes mam, that's him, said my aunt with a stern look. She then hands me the paper. All eyes were on me. " Sweetie is this the man that attacked you, the deputy asked in a calming voice. Looking at Ermias's face on that piece of paper brought tears to my eyes. " Hhhhhe didn't attack me, I said hesitantly. Rage boiled behind my aunts eyes. " Ok, so what happened? Did you all have sex, asked the deputy. " Yes mam," I responded. " Was is consensual?" " Yes mam." " So he didn't force you? You had sex with him willingly?" " Yes mam." I could feel my aunts eyes burning a hole through the side of my face. I knew she wasn't pleased with the words that came out of my mouth but I was in love. I was still in love with Ermias despite him turning my world upside down. All I could think about was his daughter. She needed him. I wasn't going to take away his freedom because he left me or ran his mouth too much. " Well mam, we can't do anything if your niece says she gave her consent," said the deputy. " But she's only seventeen. That man is twenty-three. Isn't that rape," asked my aunt. " Not in the state of Alabama. It's only illegal if someone eighteen and older has sex with a minor. Your niece here is seventeen. A minor is anyone sixteen and under. So unless she says she didn't give her consent there's nothing we can do about it," said the deputy. A wave of relief crash upon me. " Thank God, I said silently to myself. " You're sure he didn't force you sweetie? There's no need to be afraid. We can help you," said the deputy. " No mam, I'm not afraid of him nor did he force himself on me. We did it together. Willingly," I said. " Ok, well. I guess that's that. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more assistance to you mam," said the deputy. " No it's fine. Thank you for your time. Come on Alana," said my aunt. She got up and slung the deputies door open. I could feel the rage inside of her. As she sped walked to the car I did my best to keep up while walking behind her. Once we were in the SUV only silence could be heard. " What happened," asked my uncle Darnell. " The bitch said she did it willingly. They say in the state of Alabama it aint rape. It's only rape if she was sixteen and under," spouted my aunt. She folded her arms aggressively and looked out of the window. As my uncle put the SUV in drive and headed towards our destination I put my headphones in my ear. Holding back my tears; I let Ludacris ft. Mary J. Blige-Runaway Love take me to another place. Somewhere far far away from here.