Jailbird

~Part 2: Chapter 4~

Breathe. I had to remind myself to just breathe.

I also had to remind myself that we only had sixty seconds...

"Zedlin! Are you okay?" Was the first thing that blurted out of my mouth.

I could hear a lot of chattering in the background and I envisioned him surrounded by other inmates.

His deep chuckle rumbled through the speaker, "I'm okay, Sienna. I've been here before. I just wanted to call and say thank you for sending Johnathan to help me. I was really pìssed that you did that, but I can't be mad about the outcome."

My stupid eyes pricked with tears, "I had to do something."

"I know you always feel obligated to come running to help me, but you don't. I need you to continue to live life while I'm gone," he sternly told me.

"Of course I have to... you know how I feel about you. And I will. I work at an actual school now," I found myself telling him.

I could sense him smiling, "I know and that's great. I talked to my dad today and he told me it's your birthday. So, Happy Birthday, Sienna. We only have like twenty seconds left..."

Something was screaming at me to tell him the truth.

My hand flew to my small bump, "Thanks, Zedlin. There's something I need to tell you."

"What?" He urged me.

"I'm--"

'Your complimentary sixty seconds are up. If you would like to continue the conversation, you can download our free mobile app and easily setup a phone account to automatically load funds, in order to talk to your loved ones. Goodbye.'

Shìt.

What was I even thinking? Was I really going to tell him?

"Stupid... I'm a fùcking idiot," I sniffled and dabbed the sleeve of my jacket under my eyes.

I didn't know what I wanted to do anymore.

A big part of me knew that Zedlin deserved to know. I knew it was the right thing to do; no matter his reaction, but I had been through so many downs with him that I was honestly terrified of ruining our current relationship.

We weren't establishing anything serious, but we also weren't fighting. He wasn't mad at me for anything. He called me to wish me a happy birthday and he probably would've just talked to me even longer about nothing, if we had the chance.

This was the first time we could actually just get to know each other without complications, because he couldn't fùck me and feel suffocated by my feelings afterwards.

He had his space.

Was I really gonna be this selfish and keep the secret until I saw it best to tell him?

Yes. I could and I would.

At least until the baby was born.

I was gonna swear to myself here and now, that as soon as I pushed the baby out of me, I was gonna tell Zedlin the truth and I would handle it accordingly from there.

He wasn't ready to know the truth. He needed more time.

If I really thought about it, there was no reason to even tell him now. I had been googling information about pregnancies and some women didn't announce them right away, just in case they miscarried.

I really wasn't doing such a terrible thing.

But what I asked Mason to do... that was horrific.