Jailbird

~Part 2: Chapter 17~

Zedlin

I wasn't expecting to feel like this.

There was an onslaught of emotions that were attacking me, but I was trying to get over it.

I turned my head back to Sienna's stomach and pressed my lips against it again.

"Actually, no. I don't give a shít about her," I mumbled softly against her stretched skin.

Sienna's hand caressed my head gently, "Hey, just listen, Zedlin."

"That's all anyone ever wants me to do is fùcking listen! When am I gonna be listened to?" I snapped, shaking her hands off of me.

I reluctantly pulled away from Sienna's belly and stood up, watching everyone watch me.

I was sick of this shít.

Brad sighed softly, "We're not getting anywhere, Zedlin. You need to listen and then we'll all be willing to listen to you."

"Listen to me now, I don't give a shít about her new found life goal to want to be my mother now. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does matter, Zedlin. I'm going to be helping Sienna and I'm going to be a part of my grandsons life. I understand I hurt you, but I'm trying to make amends."

Since they all entered the room, I had finally really looked at her for the first time... She looked exactly the same. Hair dark as her heart and eyes identical to mine.

Maybe that was why I hated looking in mirrors.

"You think you hurt me? No, you abandoned me and that was worse. I would never abandon my son. You were a shítty parent and you can't deny that," I said through clenched teeth.

"You're right, Zedlin. I made my mistakes and I am truly sorry. I was going through a lot and you were pushing me away, so I pushed you away, too. I'm sorry it hurt you so much."

I suddenly laughed, "It's funny how you were trying to get even with a kid. Whatever. I'm over this conversation and I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Zedlin, I'm sorry. You told me you didn't want her to come and I didn't respect that," Sienna suddenly said.

My eyes shifted to her and I just stared at her. Her wild curly hair was all over the place and she stared right back at me with wide eyes.

I'd seen her look at me like that a million times. She was intimidated by me and she didn't even realize that she basically controlled me now.

She was all I could think about most days. Having a life with her and our son. It was the only thing keeping me focused on doing whatever was necessary to end this sentence as quickly as possible.

Yet she was afraid of me and it didn't sit well with me.

How could I expect for things to work between us if she jumped whenever I was around her?

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly, "It's okay, Sienna. You were just trying to help, I know how you are."

When I opened my eyes again and looked back down at her, I could tell that she was still terrified of my reaction to come.

Growth. I had grown a lot and it was time to show that.

I sat down right next to her this time and watched her watch my every movement.

"So, you made a new best friend, huh?" I asked her, lifting my hand and tucking a few strands of curls behind her ears.

Sienna blushed at the gesture, but nodded slowly, "She's cool to me and she's really excited about the baby. I'm trying to be more stress free, Zedlin. I realized it's not good mentally to hold grudges. Which is exactly why I forgave Mason and Johnathan."