Jailbird

~Part 2: Chapter 15~

"You let him play you. You do know this, right?"

Sometimes I wasn't even sure that I liked Liz, but I couldn't deny the fact that she was almost as ruthless with her commentary like I was.

It was Sunday and I was ending my weekend with a mani and pedi, courtesy of Liz. It was honestly a relaxing way to prepare to go back to school with my kids.

I bit my lip and rolled my head on my neck, "and pray tell how I let him play me?"

"Honey, he planted a baby inside of you. Hear me out, you said that Zedlin freaked both times you guys had your accidents, right?"

"Yes, he did," I said, swishing my feet around in the water.

Liz pursed her lips, "Well, Zedlin should've always been wrapping it up if he cared so much and you should've been making him."

She had a point, but I still couldn't stop the blush from rising to my cheeks.

"Yeah, well I let the stupid idiot squeeze his way into my heart somehow. I loved him at that time and although I didn't want to believe myself for the longest, I did. That's why I let him do whatever the hèll he wanted," I said, feeling slightly salty about it, too.

Liz stared right at me, "I can agree that Zedlin is very easy to love, even if sometimes you feel stupid for doing so. He probably doesn't get why you love him, if you told him."

"I've never told him to his face that I love him. He calls me ruthless sometimes, but no one beats him."

"Ha! Ain't that the truth!" Liz chuckled and then relaxed with a sigh.

I couldn't help the fact that I felt slightly embarrassed that everyone knew I loved Zedlin — everyone but Zedlin.

I frowned, "I think I don't tell him because deep down inside I know he doesn't love me like I love him."

"That's deep down inside of you though, Sienna. What about deep down inside of Zedlin? We don't know what he's thinking and let me tell you — that man will let you think he hates you and prefer it that way," she sat up a little straighter and I didn't miss the frown on her face, "That's what he does to me. I mean, I'm his mother and he acts like he hates that I even breathe."

"You did chose your new husband over him and it didn't even have to come to that. What was the point in fighting for custody over him when you were just going to end up abandoning him? That's what I don't get about you and now you're trying to care about him? No wonder he hates that you breathe," I said sharply.

Like I said, sometimes I really wasn't sure if I liked her or not.

Liz scoffed, "Come on, Sienna, give me a break. I truly did want custody of my son, but I still had hope that inside of that damaged boy, my sweet Zedlin was still in there. Once I got him, he would do things without my permission, come home high and drunk and suddenly I realized I lost whatever sweet little boy use to be him. My husband Richard knew that I was holding onto nothing, so he helped me let him go. That's when I told David he could let Zedlin stay with him instead."

The ladies working on our feet wrapped them up in hot towels and left us to finish talking.

"I understand, but it just makes me angry because I know deep inside of him, he has a gentle soul," I murmured, shivering slightly from the warm heat tingling from my feet and into the rest of my body.

Liz smiled softly at me, "If you can believe that he has a gentle soul, then why can't you believe that he could love you?"

I was scared. I was terrified that he wouldn't love me and it really hurt me to think about it.