Secrets, decisions & the blue eyes

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Looking at myself in the reflection of the water underneath me, my heart sank. After hearing about how useless I am, how dumb I am; I just couldn't find it in myself to look past that. Tightening my hand and placing on top of my heart, I tried my best to hold back the tears, but it wasn't possible at this point. "God!" I yelled out, slamming my hand against the tiles of the wall next to me. I began to break down in tears, making it difficult for me to hold myself up. I leaned my body against the wall, leaning my head back against it as well. "What did I ever do to deserve this?" I whimpered out, covering my face with the palms of my hands as the water continued to pound onto my body. 

-Joe’s P.O.V.-

I could hear everything. Listening to Izzie cry was hard for me, but I knew that I couldn’t help her at all; I was too small to get into all this. Thinking to myself, I wondered how I never noticed this to begin with. Izzie's weird behavior never added up, until now. I knew this wasn't my fault, but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think who it was. I had no idea how long this was going on for, but from the looks of it, it had to be at least from the day Iz was admitted to the hospital. Izzie shut off the shower but I could hear her cry even now. “Joe! Come have your breakfast baby” my mom called me as I came out of my thoughts. “What is the matter with Izzie mom? Why is she so upset now-a-days? No one tells me anything because I am a kid, but I can’t see my sister like this” I told my mother, as the tears streamed down my face. “Aww boo, you are so sweet, you care so much about me” Izzie hugged me from behind, making me embarrassed, she must have heard everything. “Nothing has happened to me kiddo, see I’m all good” she smiled giving me a kiss on my forehead and picking up her toast she waved to us, leaving for her school. “See, I told you I was a kid so no one would tell me anything.” I thought to myself.

-Izzie’s P.O.V.-

Joe loved me so much and I was acting like a bitch to him and to everyone else, even if so much has happened with me in these past months, I have to stay strong and move on. I can’t keep sobbing all the time and keep hurting my family and friends. “Hey, stop for me!” Niall yelled as he was running towards my direction. I laughed at him; he was all red, just like a tomato. “You look so cute today!” he said while I smiled.  We talked about random stuff and then came the question I didn’t want to hear “Erm … Iz, what happened between you and Zayn?” I cleared my throat, I wasn’t ready for this but some day or the other I had to tell him everything so why not now.

“That day I thought of talking to Zayn about ‘US’ I mean I was unconditionally in love with him and I just wanted to tell him, but not on the phone. So I decided to meet him after his basket ball match and as I knew that he would be at Starbucks, I headed towards it. As soon as I reached there I saw something that I couldn’t have wondered in my entire life, a girl was all over Zayn and they were” I choked as the flashback came to my mind, “They were kissing each other!” I stopped walking and started crying my heart out. Niall pulled me into a hug and he let me cry even if his shirt was getting all wet. Finally I stopped my tears, and pulled back from the hug. He smiled at me “Are you feeling okay now?” I nodded and smiled, “I am so sorry Iz, I never knew Zayn could do such a thing, if I did I wouldn’t have asked you about it. I am really sorry.” He hugged me again. “I am fine Nialler, I don’t want to talk about it now and let’s head to school or we’ll have to listen to Mrs. Smith and her shrieking voice in the morning itself” I forced a smile, he nodded.

We reached the school and went to our classes. I was shocked to see Zayn sitting on the desk right in front of me, why was he smiling at me? I shrugged it off and went back taking a seat on my desk, which was not even close to anyone’s because I wanted to be alone. After that boring class, as I was going out for my next lecture Zayn held my hand and told me to come with him.  I was taken aback, I didn’t want to go with him and why was he holding my hand? I tried to get his hands off, but the grip was tight and after this action of mine, it got tighter. “Do you hear me? Come with me I said.”

“Leave me alone you dork, I don’t even want to see your face, why would I go with you”

He dragged me to the basketball court behind the school. “What the hell do you want from me now?” I shouted. “Just listen to me Iz, don’t you want to hear my part of the story? You don’t even know the truth, please listen to me.” He begged me as he placed his hands on my shoulders. “Spill it” I said rolling my eyes trying not to look into his.

“That day after my basket ball match I went to Starbucks as usual and I was really happy because we had won the match, so I decided to text you so that we could celebrate together, but a girl appeared from nowhere, snatched my cell and shoved it in the pocket of her jeans. I was stunned and didn’t know what to say, and then she came closer to me and sat on my lap.”

“And then the same old story that she forced you into a kiss and blah blah blah? I’m not going to waste any more of my time on a piece of jun-”

“Would you just shut up? Can you just listen to me for once without making assumptions by yourself and not giving a chance to anyone so that he can prove that he’s innocent?” He was angry but at the same time tears were building up in his eyes. “I love you Iz, I love you more than anything in this world, please believe me for God’s sake, PLEASE” He took my hands into his, and I couldn’t resist and fell into his big brown eyes which were shining like diamonds because of the tears right now. “What happened then?” I said in a soft voice, he nodded and began “So she sat on my lap and I tried my best to get up, but I couldn’t. She had a pretty firm grip on me, I tried to push her away but nothing was stopping her, and then she kissed me, I didn’t kiss her back Iz I swear, I was resisting all the time and then I saw you standing right ther-” He started crying, I had never seen him cry, I wanted to believe him but I didn’t know what kept stopping me.

Maybe it was the fact that he had broke my trust once so I didn’t want to believe him again and I didn’t want to get hurt again? When I was deep in my thoughts he leaned towards me and his lips brushed against mine. It felt as if lightning had struck me and it went up and down my entire body. I was feeling these soft lips after one big tragic month, and my heart was saying that this is what I needed to get away from all the problems of my life, but then I had to listen to my brain, I didn’t want to get hurt again so I pushed him and ran away from him.

I was crying a river and didn’t see where I was going, so I bumped into someone. My books fell from my hands and I bent down to pick them up. “It’s okay, let me pick them up for you” a cute boyish voice spoke to me. I looked up to him and couldn’t help but stare at his piercing blue eyes, it seemed like he was smiling through them. They were just the color of ocean. He bent down to pick up my books, “Here you go” he said as I came out of my thoughts. “Than- thank you” I said hesitatingly still looking into his eyes. “It’s alright” he smiled “Here’s a piece of free advice, don’t waste your tears on someone who’s worthless, everything will soon be fine” he winked and moved on. I was standing there looking at him as he walked away.

Authors note : Here's the new chapter! How did you guys find it? Please comment people, and what do you think, should Izzie go back to Zayn or forget him and move on? Who's this new boy in town? Keep reading and don't forget to vote! xoxo

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