Once Upon a Child of the Stars

Thirty Four- Mother Knows Best

I was still awestruck by the words that Xavian had just said to me. It all made sense, but I had already been damaged by him and was afraid to trust him. I returned to my bedroom and sat on my bed, a tornado of thoughts in my mind. 

Movement in my doorway caught my attention, causing me to look up. My mom stood in the door with a gentle smile on her beautiful lips that I had inherited. 

"Hey kiddo," she said softly. 

"Hi, Mom," I reply as she walks over and gently sits on my bed. 

"You look like you have a lot on your mind. Want to talk about it?" she asks as if she knew that would help me relieve the twisting concepts in my mind. 

"Yeah, that might be helpful. I just don't understand everything or anything to be honest," I admit to her. 

"What happened with Xavian? Honestly?" she asks, her maternal side showing through. 

"When I was on Hellian with him he told me he did not want me or a mate at all, and that I had to act like we were fine or else he would not go through with the treaties with our kingdom. He was mean and overbearing. Without Raegar and Kaedian I don't know what I would have done," I explain. 

"Did he say why he didn't want a mate?" my mom asks calmly, but I see a fire burning within her beautiful green eyes. 

"He just did tonight, finally. He told me it was because he did not want to go through what Raegar went through when he lost his mate, and when we were teenagers he did not want me because he wanted to finish his training and such," I replay everything Xavian said in my mind. 

"I can see why you would be confused on that," my mom says with a light nod. 

"I thought I did not have a mate, though I remember being attracted to him when I was young but I thought it was some silly crush. When I found out he was my mate, I was excited that I even had one, but then he hurt me. I don't know if I can trust him, Mom. I want to, I feel a pull to him and my heart wants to love him and let him love me, but I just don't know if I truly can," I state, letting my emotions begin to flow through my words. 

"When I was pregnant for you, your father and I had a huge falling out and I actually did the same thing you did. Your Uncle Zor and Uncle Thane took me to the lycans to hide me while things got sorted out. I was there for way longer than you were though. Eventually your father and Zeek found me and explained everything and clearly I forgave him," my mom tells her tale. 

"What did you fight about?" I question. 

"Oh someone put a spell on him because they wanted to be a queen and she kissed him and the spell made her kiss him, then it made it as though he broke our connection by sleeping with her when he didn't," my mom says as though it is a matter of fact statement. My eyes widen at her statement. 

"Holy shit, I had no idea that happened," I say. 

"Obviously it was not his fault, where as your situation is a bit different. Either way, you have to make the choice to trust and believe your mate or move on with your life," she states. 

"It has been such a roller coaster since I met Xavian. He has been absolutely horrible to me, and now he is being decent and caring. I am just afraid he is trying to get me to go back with him to Hellian for the soul purpose of status and children," I say, a hint of guilt sinking into my gut as the words pass through my mouth. 

"That is quite the accusation and assumption as a whole, Lumi. You have to trust your heart on things that involve your mate. I know for a fact that it is very hard for a mate to hurt their significant other, and it is very rare that it happens. The connection is there for a reason, to draw you two together and one can only fight it for so long. Eventually your instincts will take over," she explains, or rather warns me. 

I give her a nod as I chew on the inside of my lip, my mind still filled with conflict. Talking to my mother usually helped, and it eased my heart and the weight I was barring, but it did not help the fact that I still had to decide what to do with Xavian. 

On one hand, the hand that held my heart, I wanted to accept him and give him the chance he begged for. I wanted to experience having a mate and the wonders it apparently brought people. I see everyone around me in love, head over heels with their mates and I had always wanted that. 

On the other hand, I was scarred. I had already been damaged by Xavian, and I was leery of his intentions. I knew now my father and my family had my back because we were on our own planet in our own kingdom. My fear was that he would make me fall for him and then let his true colors seep through as soon as we returned to Hellian, and once again I would be nothing but his toy. 

"You are just as strong as I was at your age, Luminara. You will know what you need to do in the end. It is in your blood to be a leader and to stay strong. Look at me, I am only a human and I fought in a war when I was a few years younger than you," she says, an encouraging smile on her face. 

"Not to mention your father is also amazing," my dad says from the doorway causing my mom and I to laugh. 

"Dad!" I yell at him. "Thanks for eavesdropping," I say as I roll my eyes. 

"I did not hear anything except how amazing your mother is," he states with his own eye roll as he walks over to my bedside. 

He leans down and kisses my mom and they smile warmly at one another, clear adoration within their eyes. Seeing them together gives me a burst of hope that I too will share that connection one day.  Their love is so serene and pure, everything I have ever dreamed of having. 

Once again, my heart strings are being pulled towards Xavian. I want to love him, and I know I could if he really meant what he said to me. The only question left in my mind was; did he really want to prove his love to me?