Idiot {m.c. fanfic}

Chapter 1

"So, um, about that party on Saturday, you aren't going." Ashton, my boyfriend, tells me as we sit in the cafeteria at school. I roll my eyes. Of course not, because apparently I can't go anywhere without Ashton. If he can't go, than I can't go. It's just one of the rules of our relationship I've grown unwillingly accustomed to.

But despite me knowing this rule, I had to fight it. I promised Michael.

"And why not? I thought we were going to go together. We talked about it last night." I ask, even though I already knew the reason. Our relationship isn't exactly normal...or healthy as Michael would say. What usually happens is this: Ashton will sleep around and I pretend to look the other way. Why do I do this? Mainly because I don't have any other options.

"Yeah, we were but I made, uh, other plans, so since I'm not going, neither are you, Jaelyn." He hesitates in the beginning but by the end it was clear to me that I wasn't going to this party. I could practically feel the frustration growing in his voice and I would be stupid to fight back...but then again, I'm not the smartest person in the world. Or maybe I'm just tired of the same old charade.

"Yeah, who is it this time, Ashton?" I question, almost regretting it instantly. Almost. It's not like I don't know what the other 'plans' are that he made. So he might as well tell me.

"No one you know. You don't need to worry about it." He smirks. I watch as he avoids my gaze and looks across the cafeteria to a group of girls giggling and staring at us. My cheeks flushed red and I suddenly felt embarrassed. Like I was the butt of everyone's joke. Which I suppose I was.

"Ok well have fun with whatever slut you chose this weekend." I glare at him, cheeks red, breathing heavily. Ashton looks at me surprised for a second before bursting into laughter.

"Trust me, I will." He smiles as I get up from the table and start to leave. "You know, I wouldn't have to do this if you would just give it up already." His words hit me and I stop in my path away from him. I thought about turning around and going back like the good little girlfriend he expected me to be. But my pride stopped me. I've had enough of him for the day.

Instead, I head over to where my actual friends are sitting and sit down in my usual seat, slamming my tray on the cold, gray cafeteria table. Adley, one of my best friends, and her boyfriend, Luke, stare at me with concern.

"He makes me so angry. I just wish he would stop being such a jerk for once." I sigh and hold my head in my hands. The funny thing about all this is that Ashton and I have been dating for 2 and a half years. Things used to be different. He was nice, caring, and definitely romantic. I loved him and I know he loved me. But now he's changed and in the worst way possible. Its not like I haven't tried to leave him but I just can't. I can't escape. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to, honestly.

"So what happened this time?" Michael, my lifelong best friend asks. He's kind of the freak of the school, with his blazing red hair, piercings, and worn-out band tees but that's what I love about him. He's different and doesn't care what everyone else thinks about him. I wish I was the same sometimes. But I care too much.

"He says I can't go to the party on Saturday. Just because he's choosing to spend the night with some random chick doesn't mean I can't have fun. And I hate it." I rant. "I mean, I think I'm being more than accommodating by pretending he's not doing what he's doing. I deserve a night of freedom." According to Ashton, he can sleep with whatever girl he wants to because he just can. I, on the other hand, can't even talk to other guys about homework without him getting all jealous and angry. Every weekend its a new girl and I have to pretend like it doesn't even happen. I have to pretend that he doesn't cheat on me and that our relationship is perfect. All I do is pretend. I feel as though nothing about me is real anymore. Not since last year when it happened for the first time.

"What?" Michael says in disbelief and I watch anger take over his face. He knows almost everything Ashton's ever done to me. Almost. "Saturday was going to be the biggest party of the year and he says you can't go?" He looks me in the eye and I can't look away. His green eyes hold my gaze until Adley speaks up.

"I say that you go to the party anyway. He can't tell you what to do. He is a complete asshat." Adley tells me as if I didn't already know. Luke nods in agreement, he's a pretty quiet guy but he'll talk when he needs to.

"Guys you don't understand, I can't do that. He will find out." I frown, thinking about the last time I tried to something without telling him. I glance down at the scar on my right arm quickly before turning my attention back to the conversation. "I can't do it." Luke and Adley don't know what would happen if I disobey Ashton's orders. I hated him for making me into this scared little coward. I never used to be like this. This isn't me.

"Who cares, J? He's a jerk and you can do whatever you want. You are your own person. It's not like he's your dad." Michael argues, fighting for me. I nod slowly. He's right though. I should be able to go if I want. Yeah there will be consequences, bad ones, but I don't care anymore. I need to get my life back.

"Ok, enough about this. I've heard enough about Ashton to last me a lifetime. Let's change the subject." Adleys starts to gossip about something that happened to some girl named Hannah in her English class. I tune her out and begin thinking about Saturday. I had to make it worth it because once Ashton finds out what I plan to do, his anger will be uncontrollable.

Everyone laughs at something Michael said about the Hannah girl and I snap out of my daze.

"Ok then." Adley says as the bell rings. "We'll see you guys later!" She and Luke wave as they walk down the hallway together. I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as I watch them walk hand in hand together. I wanted that kind of normalcy in my relationship.

"Well, I'll see you at the party tomorrow night, J, and remember to actually show up because we are going to make it the best night of your life!" Michael laughs and I just nod and walk away.

"What an idiot." I mutter under my breath as I walk to class.