Battle Scars - USWNT

Chapter 4 - Please don't hate me

I opened the piece of paper and read what it says "I'm a transgender guy. Please don't hate me."

I looked at Lu, seeing her... well him, start to cry, and I hugged him.

"Shh baby it's okay, I don't hate you" I said trying to calm him and letting out a shaky breath, seeing my sis- well, brother, like this was killing me, I can't imagine how scared he is.

"Hey, it's okay, look at me, everything's okay. I love you." I said making him look at me and smiling at him.

"I..." he tried to talk but can't seem to stop crying.

"Okay, let it all out, we'll talk when you're ready" I told him, hugging him and giving him time to calm down.

A few minutes later he seemed to calm down, still shaking a bit, he let out a shaky breath and got out of the hug.

"I'm ready" his voice still a little bit shaky.

"Okay" I smiled at him, caressing his cheek and cleaning a few tears while doing so.

"Do you want me to ask you? Would that be easier?" I asked him feeling his nervousness and his hands still shaking.

He nodded his head, and I took his hands in mine, trying to calm him down.

"Firstly, how long have you had this piece of paper in your pocket? it's a bit... wrinkly" I asked letting out a chuckle, and making him chuckle a little bit as well.

"Mm well, I've had it for a few weeks, I wanted to give it to mom one day, but I never found the right moment. I know it's not the best way to come out and it's kind of lame, but it's the only way I felt that I could do it" he explained to me.

"Hey, i get it, and I don't think it's lame at all" i said giving him a reasuring smile.

"I'm guessing, since you said you are a guy, the pronouns you use are he/him, right?" I asked, seeing him nod his head afterwards.

"And have you chosen a name already?"

"Yes.." he said quietly

"Well, what's your name?" I smiled at him

"Luke" he said smiling softly.

"I love that name" I told him smiling. "Can I still call you Lu? Or you aren't comfortable with that?"

"Yeah that's fine, you can call me that" he said smiling at me, and calming down more.

"I'm guessing mom and dad don't know about this?" I asked him.

"No, they don't..." he said with a sad expression. "I'm scared of how they'll react".

"I'm sure it'll be okay Lu, and if anything bad happens I'm always here for you, okay? But they're our parents, they will always love us no matter what" I said trying to comfort him.

"That's easy for you to say" he whispered under his breath.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I love you Ash, and I know it's not your fault. But it's clear that they never wanted a second kid, they were happier without me. You are the one they brag about all the time, their beautiful and successful and drama free daughter, and then there's me, the dramatic kid that's always getting in trouble, and it's clear they don't want to deal with me." he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Luke..." I hugged him, not knowing what to say. My parents have always been good to me and I guess I hadn't realized till now that with Luke they haven't acted the same way.

"Luke, you know I love you, right?" he nodded. "If you're not happy here you can come with me, whenever you're ready"

"Wait, are you serious? I don't want to be a bother. I know you live with Ali and I don't want to intrude in your life."

"Luke you would never bother me, and Ali loves you as much as I do, I know she would love to have you close as well" I smiled at him, knowing my girlfriend already loved Luke and would love for him to live with us.

"But... is she also going to be okay with... me?" he said, worry and fear of being rejected all over his face.

"I can assure you she's going to be more than okay with you, Luke" I said before hugging him.

I saw Luke smile, a smile that now reached his eyes.

"I do think, you should tell mom and dad though. Before you leave I mean." I told him.

"I know... when are you leaving?" he asked me

"Tomorrow morning, I would love to stay more time but you know I have practice" I said, frowning a little bit, not wanting to be far from my brother again.

"I know it's a bit rushed... but can I leave with you tomorrow? I'm scared to tell mom and dad but I have already spent almost 18 years of my life not being myself, I don't want to waste another minute." he said confidently and I look at him surprised, but proud.

"I'm really proud of you, you know?" I told him kissing his cheek, receiving his smile as an answer. "I'm going to sleep with Ali in the guest's room, okay? if you need anything we'll be there."

"Okay... thanks for everything Ash" Luke said before giving me a quick hug. "Can I ask you a favor?" he asks me.

"Of course"

"Can you tell Ali about me? I came out to you and I have to come out to mom and dad tomorrow, if I have to do it with Ali as well I'm literally going to dehydrate from crying" he said jokingly but also serious.

"That's okay, I'll do it. Don't worry about it kid." I smiled at him. "Sweet dreams little bro." I said kissing his forehead before making my way out of his room.

"Night Ash" he said, lying in his bed and closing his eyes.

I turned off the light and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind me.
I turned around and looked at the closed door one last time. Now I understand.