When Love Grows (COMPLETED)

Chapter 37

When Love Grows (37)

I couldn't fool myself to feel nothing. It wasn't okay with me...I'm not really fine with what was happening. Am I the one who's being hollow here? Because if I am? I don't how would I clear off the loads of thoughts of why he couldn't pick me up. Kapag kasama ko parin si Miguel I couldn't help but to feel doubt. With the scope of a month things were getting worst. Hindi na niya ako nasusundo ng hapon. Kapag pinupuntahan ko siya ng weekends parang trabaho parin lagi ang nasa isip niya. We would make out and after that he would tell me to go home para mag-aral. Well in fact he was the only reason why I'd rather stay at his house para naman nagkikita kami. May interet sa bahay niya...but I couldn't bear to stay at his house anymore. Kung hindi rin naman ako mabibigyan ng attention na gusto ko...sa cafe nalang ako pumupunta. Things has been changing, small matters and acceptable excuses were becoming unacceptable for me dahil naiisip ko na baka nga...baka may Megan. Pero hindi ko kayang tanggapin na baka may iba na.

Para lang siyang sila Mama at Papa...I feel lonely because of him. I feel sad, I cry because of him. Yesterday was my birthday and I wanted to be with him but he wasn't home.

Weeks had already passed and it got heavier. I was reading and searching
books for heartache.

How will I save myself from hurting? Break up would hurt me even more kaya hindi ko option na gawin iyon.

Nothing had change. Constant distance would be this possible pala talaga. Akala ko kapag binigay ko na mawawala si Megan...I was wrong. Naunahan na ba ako ni Megan? Parang naging worst pa 'yung situation. Isn't he bother? Does he really feel okay with whats happening between us? Maybe he really want this...he really wants us this way. He's favor of not giving me so much attention because he's into someone, already. I don't want to break up with him! Ayoko. I want him mine. I'm still his.

I throw the tissue in the bin and washed my face. I was looking at my nose that got so red because of crying inside the cubicle. How could I still manage to go to school and attend classes, sit under because I needed to pay attention to my profs and joined my friends watching how happy they are. Finals na this week and year end break is next week and we're so busy reviewing for it. I was feeling drain but I just can't slump at home and wake up next morning without preparing myself for recitation dahil kahit sila Bart sinasabihan na ako. I was not in myself when I was asked regarding the solution of oblique triangles an made me rummaged what I stuffed on my head. Naitawid ko naman.

"Bakit 'to?" I asked Mack who walked behind to his seat.

"Just drink it. Hindi ako nagpapabayad," he laughed and placed my fifty pesos on my chair's desk.

"Upo ka dito sa gilid Mack, pwede?" I said. I was just not use to him sitting behind, mas gusto na nasa gilid siya at nasa gilid ko rin si Renesi. "Sorry kahapon. I didn't mean it." I apologized. He had really crossed the boundary yesterday, he was noisy kaya nagalit ako.

"Better. Na miss kita seatmate."

Sir John entered the room. I wipe my lips after drops flown from my mouth dahil sa tubig na binili ni Mack.

"Give me a number, Adviento," he was shuffling the index cards while roaming his eyes to us.

"20 sir."

"Too far, 19 tayo." Tumawa si Sir.

"You won't miss your seats if you failed my subject. Advance merry christmas! Santa has a gift for you..." everybody groaned.

"Cruz, Rendell...Genesis. Haba naman."

Renesi stood up, she's prepared. Renesi is kind of studios, low key type.

"Hindi halatang inaral, Cruz." Sir scribbled her grade on the index card and separated hers from the uncalled names.

"Number, Cruz..."

"2."

"Chavez. Simplify the problem. Moving point tayo, my Precious."

I stood up habang hawak ko parin 'yung bottle. "To simplify the ideas at the outset, we shall first attack the problem of a point moving in a straight line. After a fairly study through of such rectilinear..." I suddenly stop when I felt like throwing up. Everybody's attention was on me.

I covered my mouth when I felt a sudden kick in my stomach. Are you okay? Sir John asked. I didn't want to flub my recitation but I can't throw up inside our room!

"Excuse po Sir."