The Unexpected Path

Chapter 3 - Lucas

I wake up with a jerk, bolting upright and cursing when I realize I fell asleep. I grab my phone off the bedside side table and groggily call Mom's number. Ever since we found out about her cancer, my sleep has been non-existent out of paranoia. I'm so fucking terrified that one day I'll be deep asleep and lose her without even realizing, without being by her side, without saying goodbye. I'd never forgive myself if that happened so I don't sleep. I've had insomnia since I was a kid but this is the worst it's been. Now I can go up to three days without sleep but after that I usually crash without meaning to for several hours. That's probably what happened yesterday afternoon, when I was lying down in bed and fuming at the thought of Olivia. That's the last thing I remember so I must have knocked out and now it's seven in the morning of the next day. Fucking hell.

"Hello?" Comes a sleepy mumble. The relief I feel is so goddamn overwhelming I sink into my bed again, rubbing a hand over my face.

"Hey, Mom," I say as quietly as I can. I feel like a dick now that I know she's okay and was resting. "Sorry. I just wanted to check in with you really quick."

"That's okay," She says through a yawn and I hear her shuffling in bed. "How's my boy?"

"Good," I lie. "You? How do you feel today?"

"Good," I know she's lying to me too. "Chemo was kind of rough yesterday but nothing a bit of sleep can't fix."

Yeah, right. That's such bullshit and my throat tightens in devastation. "I'm sorry you're hurting."

"Don't be," She says gently. "I'm not hurting. Your father has paid for the best kind of care there is. I'm being taken care of and surrounded by everyone I love. That's all I can ask for."

"I want to be home with you," I say through gritted teeth because fuck me, I can feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. Hearing her talk about this whole situation like she's made her peace with it is driving me fucking crazy. How can she just accept this is happening to her? "Let me come home. School isn't important right now."

"Yes it is, Lucas," She says sternly. She hasn't used that tone with me in a while and I think I've actually missed it. I miss Mom being a hard-ass about the rules and giving me shit. These days she's too weak for any of that. "It's not just about your education, although that's important too. You need to feel some kind of normalcy or you'll go crazy. Being here won't help me get better faster, baby. You're just going to be miserable. Just be a regular kid so it makes all of this a little more bearable. It's too depressing here and I don't want you to remember me like this. I don't want to taint your memories of me with ones that are nothing but me hooked up to wires and taking countless medication."

"Stop talking like that." It takes everything in me not to yell. Why is everyone acting so goddamn morbid? Hasn't anyone considered that maybe she'll fight this thing off and win? "You're not gone. I don't need to depend on any fucking memories if you're right in front of me. You're going to stay in front of me. You're not going anywhere."

"Shh," She whispers and I force myself to calm down. Hell, what am I doing? Me losing my shit is only going to stress her out more. "I'm right here, baby. You're right. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry if I made it sound otherwise."

"Just let me come home," I beg through a thick voice. "Tell Dad to let me come home. You know he's forcing me to stay here."

I hear her sigh and the sound of her sheets rustling. "We both wanted you to go to school this year, Lucas. Don't blame it all on him. It was our collective decision."

"Bullshit. He...I kind of trusted Dad with something private and he's using that against me to make me stay here. That's fucked up, Mom. Don't you see that?"