The Unexpected Path

Author's Note

*WARNING: LONG AND EMOTIONAL MESSAGE AHEAD*

If you've made it to this point then I'd just like to say congratulations, because you deserve it after everything you've just been through.

Because wow, what an emotional roller coaster this story has been. It was so draining from beginning to end. There were so many points where options like throwing this book across the room, or ripping it to shreds, or walking out on it to cry in a bathroom instead, seemed so much easier than completing this story. But you did and I hope that by doing so, you'll never forget this story or the way it made you feel. I hope this story changed your life. It sure as hell changed mine.

Writing this story was so exhausting. It was so challenging. It was so difficult. But it was so rewarding. I gave every single piece of my heart to this story and I hope that shows.

I know this story isn't everyone's cup of tea. I mean this was truly a villain's story. I didn't write about a hero but that was the point. Lucas was the human embodiment of every flaw inside of us, to show you that we are all capable of being misunderstood and painted out to be bad people. We all have bad thoughts. We all hurt others. We are all a villain in someone's story.

But we're so quick to turn the other cheek and that's also the human in us. Humans are ignorant and rude and before we judge anyone else, we should all take a look into ourselves first. Who am I to say anything to anyone, if I'm not perfect myself? That's what I asked myself before starting this story and every answer I came up with went into this book.

Lucas is me. Lucas is you. Lucas is all of us. But nobody wants to believe that, right? Nobody wants to believe that we're capable of being truly human and hurting others even if that's not our intention. I mean, think about it. So many readers sat here and said shitty comments and judgements about this story because it was TOO honest. In turn they insulted me and hurt me with the same honesty they didn't want to read about. Super ironic. So the whole time haters hated, they were really just proving the point of my story and helped me so...thank you?

Writing this story and putting it out there took so much out of me. The MC was unconventional in every way. I took the brute force of it when everyone lashed out with their negative comments. Now please don't think I'm blaming anyone because I'm not. Being invested in a story means commenting all your thoughts, even the bad ones, but THAT IS MY POINT. See! We all have bad thoughts and we don't think twice about putting it out there. Every single one of you did it. Even I did it when I irrationally got defensive and hurt someone back. In the comment section we were all hurting each other more than Lucas hurt anyone. WE ARE ALL LUCAS.

That being said, I hope you changed your mind about him by the end. His character development is one that I will always be proud of. Yes, he was a "villain" but he deserved a second chance. He deserved patience and love and kindness and it was worth it because look how wonderful he turned out to be. And you never would have witnessed that if you didn't lend him the patience and understanding required to make it through his story. I want this to teach you to be just as patient and kind and understanding to people in real life too. Even the seemingly bad ones. You never know what someone is going through. Sometimes they just need a second chance to become a good person. So please keep that in mind when you're out there in the real world. We're all just looking for a place to belong, aren't we?

I also don't want to end this author's note without talking about Emily. God, my Emily. She was the character that started all of this. Writing a complete novel, publishing it, turning it into a series and then a spin-off, it all started with her! Her death was not an easy decision by any means. There were so many points where I didn't want to write her death at all. Writing the whole thing out, from Lizzie's POV to Jaxon's, took me two weeks. I didn't have the heart. It was too difficult. I cried so much it's unbelievable. But I always knew that's the direction the story was meant to go in. It encased the reality of life which is what this book is about. Real life. Real fucking life.

And I know cancer patients survive in real life. That's not the real life I'm talking about. I'm talking about MY life.

This story is based on the loss of my aunt. She had breast cancer, the exact same kind I gave Emily, and she died just like Emily too. Recovering, doing well...and then not so much. Lucas' behaviour was inspired by my mother's reaction to her sister's cancer. She lashed out and acted like a stranger, always angry or crying and snapping. (That's why I had to laugh when people thought Lucas' behaviour shouldn't have been justified because he was "grown" or his "hurt wasn't an excuse"... no matter your age, whether you're in your late teens or a grown woman like my mom, pain causes you to lash. It's a human reaction. And Lucas was only a 21 year old BOY who was exploited and taken advantage of by the world. Dealing with pain and reading about it are two very different things, I promise).

The bad relationship Luc had with Jax was based on my horrible relationship with my father. Every little thing we did pissed the other off and we had no semblance of communication. Some thought the way Lucas and Jaxon would snap at each other or misunderstand each other was too far. It was but it's real. Parent-child relationships can honestly be THAT damaged (raises hand). The miscommunication between Luc and Liv was based on the miscommunication between me and the first guy I loved. A jealous "friend" got between us, fed us both lies about the other, and we didn't resolve it for SEVEN YEARS. People were freaking out when my characters didn't resolve their issues after mere months...imagine being caught up in lies and hurt for seven years.

So yeah, there was nothing fiction about this story. Every part of it was based on my life. That's why the not so great comments were exceptionally hard to take. Fake characters or fake stories weren't being insulted. I was. That's also another reason I was so hesitant on releasing this story. I knew the negativity would eat me alive and it did.

But I'm glad I pushed and gave you this story. I'm glad I wrote it the way I did. It was healing when I reached the end because I didn't sugarcoat anything. This story was meant for MY healing and capturing MY reality. I know tons of cancer patients who recovered but my aunt didn't, so I was in no way going to write a story based on her that didn't remain true to the very end. I know Emily's death was hard, but those who lost a loved one to cancer know the pain feels JUST like this. It's real and that's okay. This story is my way of telling you it WILL be okay.

We can't be scared of death, guys. It's going to happen to all of us someday. It's hard to stomach but it's true. What's important is to live a life that you're proud of and that means giving it your all so you don't have regrets. As hard as it was to write this story, I'd have regretted it if I didn't. But I did and I'm so proud.

Life is too short to hold back. Love freely. Chase your dreams. Be kind. Apologize and admit you're wrong. Give second chances. Open your heart and be vulnerable. Be happy.

These are all the lessons I wanted you to extract from this story. Life isn't always easy but it's the only life we've been given so make the most of it. Just remember that. And I hope you'll always remember this story too. Thank you so much for reading and supporting me. Thank you for making my dreams come true and making me the author I am. You guys are the reason I will live with no regrets. God, I love you all. So much.

And finally, for upcoming projects, NEW STORY ALERT!! I have a stand-alone coming next month that I think you guys will LOVE. If you follow me on IG you see that I post updates of me working on this new novel! I'm halfway done and hope to have it complete by the time I start updating. It's a HILARIOUS enemies-to-lovers, feel-good, and light-hearted read that we can all use. Follow my IG for more info as I'll be starting promo IMMEDIATELY, including teasers, character aesthetics, trailers, and daily Instagram stories updating you on my story progress. Follow me @authoramberisabelle!

Thank you so much and happy reading, everyone!

— Amber Isabelle