Savior | T. Drake ✔

[01]

The sky was starless and painted a darker shade of royal blue as night had fallen over the city. And though the rest of the city had retreated to the realms of sleep, two silhouettes were visible at Wayne International Tower's rooftop.

Irina was perched up on the railings as she had stopped by just after patrol to check up on Tim who was staying late in order to work for the upcoming Fall Gala. Tim had been responsible for all the arrangements so he had to stay at Wayne Tech much later than his usual time.

His team had left half an hour earlier while he had come to the rooftop upon receiving a text from Ren saying that she had stopped by for a visit.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Tim asked.

"Well, I can't let you walk through Gotham alone so..." She left the sentence incomplete as she laughed. A smile spread on his face as well at her remark and her arms encircled him, wrists crossed at the back of his neck as she pulled him closer.

She was glancing down at the wide expanse of the city that spread underneath, lights glimmering in the darkness. She broke the silence between them at last by saying, "you know what, I'm glad you figured out my identity by yourself."

"Oh and why is that so?" he asked though he averted his gaze from her, a slightly guilty blush creeping up to his face. He knew where the conversation was headed and he also knew that it was ironic for him to resume with it since he had been keeping a huge secret from her even then and she still wasn't aware of his vigilante duties.

"Because it was so so hard to keep everything hidden from you," she answered, taking in a deep breath, "I felt really bad at giving you the impression that you couldn't be trusted. Of course that wasn't the case... I knew I could trust you but..."

She stopped and Tim knew exactly how she was feeling. It was a feeling he knew all too well, because keeping such a huge secret from someone who is the closest and dearest person in one's life was rather taxing.

"And then I figured out I couldn't keep up the two identities in front of you," she resumed a last, her hands entwined through his, "I was so different towards you as Irina Luthor that sometimes I feared you would not want to keep up our relationship if you figured out I was intimidating as hell. Now that I think about it, my behavior towards you was kinda terrifying."

"No, not really," he mumbled, "you were my boss and your behavior was exactly how it was required. You made no difference between me and the rest of the department, and that's a good thing I guess."

"I know but... There were so many times when I just wanted to tell you because you deserved to know the truth. But every single time, the fear of losing you would cloud over that decision of telling you. And then I just didn't."

He nodded, encouraging her to resume because Irina was not a very expressive person and if she had chosen that moment to be completely honest with him, he wasn't going to make her decide against it.

"And I was also scared that by lying to you I was risking everything between us. Relationships are built on trust and that was the first thing that I took away from us just so you wouldn't figure out who I am." She paused for a short while as if contemplating her words, "I don't know why I'm telling you all this right now. You're tired and I should have taken that into account."

"I'm fine," he smiled encouragingly at her, "and I'm glad you're telling me all this yourself. Shows that you do trust me enough now."

A slow smile crept on her features as well, "I would trust you with my life."

"Me too. Oh wait, I have already done that like so many times."

She laughed at his remark, "you sure have." But as the laughter died down, she gently cupped his cheek in her hand, looking straight in his blue irises, "you have no idea how hard it was for me."

A fresh wave of guilt stabbed him in the heart as he tried to keep his expression neutral. He was stuck in a dilemma because even though she didn't have any intention to make him uncomfortable, the honesty of her words were making him feel even terrible that he could not tell her just yet.

"Yeah, I have no idea," he mumbled though with each word, the guilt in his heart increased.

"And you should know you're lucky to never have to put up with the guilt that comes as a result of keeping such a huge secret."

His jaw clenched but he hoped that she hadn't noticed it as he dipped his head in a nod. By then, he felt twice more terrible about keeping her in the dark. But he had no other choice, Bruce had directly ordered all of them not to expose their vigilante identity to anyone. And he simply had to follow that order.

"Tim," she spoke up, distracting him from his wild train of thoughts, "don't ever keep anything secret from me."

He gulped because her voice had attained that slightly vulnerable tone which happened each time she felt insecure regarding something. And though he couldn't see her eyes due to the mask that covered her face, still he could feel the intensity of her gaze and the request written clearly across her features.

It was almost as if she had found out about him too, or at least suspected, but was not confronting him straight out and wanted to hear it from him instead.

"I know I shouldn't be saying this because I kept you in the dark too, it's unfair. So I'll let you off easily just one time. Don't break my trust twice."

He couldn't bring himself to say anything because the guilt was weighing him down. Deep down, it felt as if she was aware of his secret already but was giving him time to own up himself.

A while passed in awkward silence, her fingers still lingered on his cheek gently caressing the skin underneath. His voice seemed to have stuck in his throat and his mind was caught in a whirlwind of confusion, unable to decide what to say to her in reply.

But it seemed as if she had noticed his discomfort as she changed the topic, "by the way, how are the preparations for the Fall Gala going?"

He looked at her tentatively but then seeing the familiar beautiful smile on her face, he nodded, "everything's going as planned. I just have to decide the flower combination."

She nodded, "would you prefer my opinion?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Don't use roses or tulips," she elaborated, "those flowers are too overrated. Go for something simple and unique. Like carnations."

A smile graced his features as he knew that carnations were her favorite flowers, "sounds nice, any suggestions for the combination?"

"Morning glories. It would look beautiful."

"Definitely," he nodded, finally relaxing as the fear that he had screwed up everything slackened slightly, "and thanks."

"What other stuff you have got to decide now?"

"Napkin colors," he added, "red or black?"

She thought for a while before answering, "cream."

"Done," he nodded in affirmation.

Though she had changed the topic and was conversing freely about the Fall Gala with him, he could still not forget the sincerity in her tone when she had opened up to him earlier. And the way she had asked not to break her trust stabbed constantly at his heart.

He was risking too much. And he was afraid that if he didn't make up his mind soon, it was going to tear them apart.

***