The Oblivion (Fierce Deity Link x Reader)

Chapter 20: Trial 3

We needed him. He was the key to our victory. Neither Terr nor Luminite had the experience he had with Majora. Without him, we would be going into battle blind. 

We tried desperately to locate him, but it was clear he did not wish to be found. I wanted to be angry and call him selfish for deserting us at this moment. But I couldn't. It was my fault. How could I have not seen this coming? How could I not read that the connection between Link and I was simply the origin of our souls longing for each other? 

It was not our thoughts or our desires that pushed us together. I should have realized that. 

Oni...Oni... 

I repeated his name over and over in my head, praying he'd sense my need for him. Or perhaps he cut me out all together. I wandered through the hallways of the castle in hopes of thinking of some clue as to his location. 

Someone fell into step beside me. I knew who had joined me without needing to look over. Her demeanor and height were enough.

"Luminite? Did he care for me?" My voice crackled as I spoke. I had not really used it much since that morning.

After some moments of silence, she answered. 

"Yes...he did." 

I watched my alternating feet as we continued. 

"Did he care for me or who's soul I have? I cannot tell which is which anymore."  

"He cared for you, (Name). He cares more than a guardian should." Luminite  turned, pausing our walk. Her eyes stared intensely into mine, urging me continue my self pity. I saw the dare in her eyes, the promise to snap me into reality. 

I blinked and looked down. 

"He was distraught when you went missing, days of no sleep searching under every damned rock, tree, or hole in the ground. He sat by the fire at night staring at your necklace, hoping the mere vision of it would bring you back. The death of our leader was not easy for any of us. Oni loved Aine, and, yes, it was wrong for him to do so. Yes, he acted of a jealous rage, and revealed her secret to Hylia, but he has mourned and grieved for centuries. Do you not think he exists without guilt of being a hand in the death of someone he loved? Have you not lost your way in your own grieving and sorrow before?" 

Luminite shook her head and turned away. I felt shame well up in my chest, making my only desire to shrink to nonexistence. 

"However, it is your decision of who you choose to love, and I will not interfere. Do not string Oni along. If you wish to be with General Link, make it clear to him." 

I was left to stare blankly at her retreating figure. Why was I feeling such guilt and shame, if I had supposedly convinced my self to hate Oni. But that gentle touch of his hand against my cheek was enough to drive me into madness around him. His smell, his voice, his magic, every sensation of him that entered my body broke my resolve a little more. It was so hard to dislike him. 

I thought of my time with Link with disgust. I felt disgusted by my actions. Revealing my body to him, the only one who had ever seen it...the first man to see it. Link was cemented in my memory as many firsts...and the more I thought of it the more I disliked the way it felt to be with him. The shameless lust that drove through me when he kissed me and touched me. I felt disgusted by my body's reaction. They say desire stems from the soul. Perhaps Aine was controlling me, guiding me to him, or perhaps that is just an excuse for my own desire. 

But the way Link cared for me. It was hard to say if his desire is his own or his soul's as well. Maybe he could not tell the difference, or didn't care. I couldn't break his heart. I didn't want to break his heart. Would he hate me?