Mira Murphy (b.b.) // The 100

24 - Breaking

-- MIRA'S POV --

We were hiding in the trees as we looked at all the grounders milling around their camp. There was something comforting about this, being the watchers instead of the watched for the first time. I was shoulder-to-shoulder with Tyler but every part of my body was focused on Bellamy behind me. He was close enough that he could rest his head on my shoulder, but I could practically feel him restraining himself. I was kicking myself for the way I've acted toward him since I walked in on him getting arrested at the drop ship, but I couldn't help it.

From the moment I heard his voice I wanted to run to him, collapse in his arms and let the world fall away. But it was never that simple. Kane was going to arrest him - and that was something I couldn't let happen, for myself and the good of our people. I had to make myself reputable, I had to have my voice heard and listened to, which meant having the chancellor on my side.

There was this new wave of responsibility and confidence I had to have, and that meant showing everyone that I was thinking with my head and not my heart.

That's the bulk of what I told myself, anyways. It was deeper than that; It was more personal, more insecure. I wore the clothes and swung the blade of the men I had killed. Men I had watched the life fade from their eyes. I did something I never would have thought I was capable of - and while their was te heavy feeling of shame for what I had done, I didn't regret it. It was kill or be killed, protect or give in. Bellamy was right when he said he was a coward: That was the difference between Murphy and I. I killed to protect our people, he killed...well, our people.

"I see nothing but grounders," Bellamy muttered, lowering his gun. "Our people aren't here."

"They have stuff from our ship, though," Finn noticed.

Murphy mumbled something under his breath that I didn't catch and him and Finn bickered quietly. I strained my eyes to get a better look but I couldn't see anything from where we were. Bellamy cleared his throat and I glanced over to see him offering his gun to me so I could look through the scope. I hesitated before leaning back into him so I could look through it. I expected him to tense up - I wanted him to reject me - but his whole body relaxed. I ignored it as I scanned the camp.

"Stop, stop, right there."

He froze while I took the gun from his hands to better control what I was looking at.

"That one has Clarke's watch on a necklace," I squinted, "The one with one eye."

"That was her father's. She wouldn't give it up," Finn said quickly.

"Not without a fight," Bellamy agreed.

"Neither will we," I muttered. "Bellamy, Finn, you're with me. Sterling and Monroe, I need you two to stay with Tyler." I turned to him, "If anything goes wrong-"

"Copy that," he cut me off, already knowing the plan.

"Do I get a gun now then?" Murphy asked.

"No," I said flatly.

--

We crowded together while Murphy stuck his head out from around a tree, whispering to the grounder to get him closer. Just as the Grounder ran at him, I brought the back of the machete down on his head, watching him fall to the ground unconcious.

"Pretty soon the grounders are gonna know your name, Mira," Monroe laughed.

That's the last thing I wanted.

Tyler joined her, "I've been telling everyone she's a badass, but no one listened!"

I grumbled something under my breath as I checked the grounder for weapons. I huffed as I tried to get a knife from under him. Bellamy bent down as moved my hands gently as he rolled him to his side so I could grab the knife. We were eye to eye now, and the urge to just break down to him was almost too much.