Taga Long

First Day

"Did you find anything that you liked?" Caleb had dropped me off first and would be back later. Dad was eating at the table with Andrew.

I took my sweater off and draped it on the back of the chair. "Um," I shrugged. "I guess." What I bought wasn't somwthing I would ever wear, but I guess it was okay.

"Well, I sure hope so. School starts in twelve hours."

I huffed as I sat down, laying my head in my arms. "Thanks for reminding me."

The word school tended to bring back memories that I'd rather forget. Yes, I loved certain classes like Art and Journalism. But when it came to socializing and communicating with others, I didn't do too well.

"You'll be fine Tabitha. You always do. Just remeber, no matter what happens, you can do it."

I shook my head. "You can't make me do this." I whined.

He gruffed a little. "Oh, but I can." He smiled a crinkly smile.

Which was true, but, I really didn't want to go. What I needed was my mother's soothing voice. I needed her here to let me know that I was just over reacting, that I would be fine, and even if I wasn's fine, she would be there for me. But she wasn't here, she couldn't be here. One of the few people that I could count on had left me. She would no longer be there to help me in times like this, when I simply just needed her there for the simple fact that she was my mother.

I let a little tear fall before wiping its wetness away quickly.

"I'll be in my room." I mumbled sadly.

He looked up from his plate, but said nothing, giving me a slight nod. I knew he could tell from the look on my face which way my wheels were turning.

I plopped down on my bed witha a thud, letting its plushness seep aeound me. I breathed in its scent, it was washed in the same detergent that my mother always used. It was a comfort, not exactly what I needed, but at least filling a little bit of the empty space in my chest.

All I did was lay there, not thinking, not really even breathing, simply letting everything leave my head. I breathed in deeply, then let it out slowly, imagining every thing bad exiting my body in the process.

My body began to relax and mellow out. I felt a certain resolve, sometimes quiet was all you needed to clear your thoughts.

"Tab?" Okay so, maybe not.

I lifted my head off the pillow to see a figure standing in my doorway. He took a step forward, and from the glow of the hallway light I could see Caleb's pale features. Witha sigh, I laid my head back down and shut my eyes.

The bed jostled a little beneath his weight. "You okay?" I nodded into the pillow. "You sure?" Another nod. "Positive?"

I took a pillow and whacked him with it. "Shh!"

I heard his quiet laugh in the dark. "Sorry." He took a hand and raked it gently through my hair. I shivered at the womderful sensation it sent through me. "I think I'm going to sleep in my own bed tonight. You know, since there's school tomorrow."

I nodded, not really sure if I was upset or not.

"Well," he started. "You'reobviously tired so," he kissed the top of my hair. "Goodnight."

"Night." My words got lost in the pillow.

Honestly, I hadn't even heard him leave, I was already sleep.

*****

Ugh! Why was the bed moving! It was too early and I just wanted to keep my eyes shut.

"Tab."