Shopping #1

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[San Lorenzo Supermarket:]

Futhark: (is quietly shopping for a week's supply)

Luciano: (stands beside Futhark and takes whatever Futhark takes)

Futhark: (suspiciously shops for bread)

Luciano: (takes whatever bread Futhark takes)

Futhark: (suspiciously grabs dairy products)

Luciano: (takes whatever dairy product Futhark takes)

Futhark: (decides to take milk for lactating mothers just to see if Luciano will take the same)

Luciano: I'm an inexperienced shopper, not an idiot.

Futhark: A-Ano pong idiot sinasabi n'yo? H-H-Hindi ko nga p-p-po kayo nap-p-pansin sa tabi ko!

Luciano: I know you're stuck in quarantine with the bastard Heimdall and my son. Unless one of them's pregnant or you're donating that milk to charity then I'll assume you're taking that to make fun of me.

Futhark: Ah—eh, uhm sa charity po 'to...

Luciano: Then how come you're only buying one?

Futhark: (internally screaming) H-Hindi po, m-marami po talaga ang kukuhanin ko dahil charity... (awkwardly puts more boxes of milk in his cart)

Luciano: (watches Futhark dig his own grave with little interest) Hurry up.

Futhark: B-Bakit po kayo ang namimili?

Luciano: I was the godforsaken head of the family.

Futhark: Ilang taon na po ba kayo?

Luciano: Younger than you think. If you're done then let's proceed to the cashier.

Futhark: M-May bibilhin pa po ako, mauna na kayo.

Luciano: I'll wait for you.

Futhark: Bakit po?

Luciano: You got a problem with that?

Futhark: Wala po!

A few moments later...

Futhark, crying grossly on his phone: SIR LANCE HINDI KO PO SINASADYANG GUMASTOS NG MALAKING HALAGA SIR LANCE SI LUCIANO LUKAS PO MAY KASALANAN SIR, SIR HUMANAP NA PO KAYO NG CHARITY NA PWEDENG I-SPONSOR SIR BABAYARAN KO NA LANG PO SA SUSUNOD SIR PATAWARIN N'YO PO AKO-

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