Bedroom Whispers

Assessment

It's 00:19, the 16th of March, 2020.

I'm reviewing my journey so far. My journey to emotional mastery. I'm not going to plague myself with the philosophical jargon about the definition and meaning and implications of emotions. I'm tempted to, but no. I'll just simply evaluate how far I've come to know myself for who I truly am.

We're not at the end of the journey. Or maybe we are. Maybe we are. It's been a long walk. I've met with companions and contenders. I've encountered Yays and Nays. More of Nays I must confess, but it's been a little easier and bearable because this time, I came to the start line knowing one Truth about human nature. It's fickle, unstable and unreliable. Armed with this Truth, oppositions became less dreadful. I sometimes looked forward to them with a certain knowing.

I've toured different routes. I've blended with different souls.

It's 07:22, the 10th of May, 2020.

Looking back at that piece of the journal, I realize how it's all been about self-knowledge - "knowing myself for who I truly am".

The journal was not completed. Or was it? It seems like a train of thought was interrupted, but the little that was successfully penned down gave me an insight into the thought process at that time.

Am I a master now? I dare not say "Yes", for yesterday, I railed against a man and called him senseless. It doesn't matter the age or the stature or social standing; all men deserve respect. And I failed to give a man his due respect yesterday. It makes it no better or worse knowing he was my dad.

I see that event as one of the trips one gets along the way. Yes, I tripped and toppled over, but I'm not going to stay down.

I'm not a master yet, but I'm becoming consciously aware of the state of the mind per time.

It's a journey, and I've not come to the end, yet.

There's still more ground to cover. We move.