NEVER TELL// N.S.

27

The next few weeks were the worst in my life, I was barely sleeping, work well that was a joke. I was beginning to look like a zombie. Becca was trying everything to cheer me up or at least get me out of my funk, but nothing was working, I basically fell into a deep, deep depression. I wouldn't even answer the phone, 99% of the time it was Nikki, I had knew his calling schedule from before so I knew it was him. Except for today when the phone rang Becca answered it, "I don't know if she will talk to you", she hands me the phone, "Just talk", I gave her a strange look, "Its not Nikki". "Hello", "Hey Ry its Tommy", "Hey Tommy", "Listen I know some stuff is going on between you and Nikki, and he is in really bad shape, we saw what was wrote on that magazine, dude I'm telling you that it is all fake man. She showed up at one of our after parties and she was trying to get with Nikki, and he flat out refused her, so we all think she either made it up or some pap saw what was happening and ran with it", "Tommy I'm not there I don't know what is going on, I have trust issues already", "Dude listen to me its fake, why don't you come out here for a couple days and work it out face to face?", "I don't know Tommy", "come on please? Bring the nugget with you, he needs you both dude", "Fine", "Rad dude, listen I'm not going to say anything to him, its going to be a complete surprise". 

A few days later me, Becca and Ash set out to go to Portland. Becca decided to come along to help with Ash, because I am sure Nikki and me are going to need some alone time. Plus she wanted to see the guys as well. Once we get there we check into the hotel, the same as the guys, but they are currently doing sound check, I made sure I got all the info for the day so we wouldn't run into them, at least not yet. Between Tommy and their manager Nikki isn't going to know I'm there until I'm ready to show up. Since we have a few hours before actually show time, I know what the guys are doing until then so we hide out in our room which we booked our room on the floor below them, which was intentional. 

After we get ourselves ready to go to the show, I made sure we all had our passes so we can go where we need to. And also made sure Ash had her earplugs. The plan was to watch the show from the side of the stage, just staying out of sight enough that Nikki wouldn't notice. Tommy had told Vince and Mick what was up so they knew we were there but Nikki had no clue. As the show started coming to the end we stood right at the bottom of the back stage area, so when they came down from the stage he would see us. My heart started beating faster as I was getting nervous, I had seen Nikki or talk to him in days. Becca was standing beside me with her arm around me rubbing my shoulder to try and calm me down. Then I heard the last song end and everybody saying their goodbyes, okay well this is it moment of the truth. 

Then I see him at the top of the stairs, my eyes began to swell up, I really do love this man. He still gives me butterflies, he still makes my hands shake. As soon as he sees me he gets a little smirk on his face, and races to me and picks me up off the ground and hugs me so tight I think he may crack a rib. "Baby oh my god, I love you so much", I just begin to cry harder. We stay like that for what seems an eternity, then we pull apart so he can love on Ash, and pulls Becca in for a hug at the same time. Then Tommy picks up Ash, "Come on nugget lets go say hi", he walks down the hall to the dressing rooms, me and Nikki, Becca follow behind. Nikki wants to talk but I explain to him we will sit and talk back at the hotel. He nods in agreement. Nikki never lets go the whole time we are in Tommy's dressing room, talking with everyone. Now when we talk hopefully everything will come out okay.