𝑻𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑯𝑶𝑵𝑬𝒀, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔

♡ 𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑩𝑬𝑨𝑼𝑻𝑰𝑭𝑼𝑳 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑹𝑬 / 𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑶

requested by marmaladeskies67
how beautiful you are
༊
'64

denise stuck her tongue out at me today. called me a teacher's pet. i could've pulled all of her hair out, the weed!

i chuckled as my eyes haphazardly perused through the pages of (y/n)'s long lost journal. her scribbles ran rampant all over the page; flowery doodles pranced along the endless lines, ink blotches bled into words, periods turned into dark smudges from a pen left a little too long on the page. there were countless entries like that where she vented and left a messy trail of splotches behind. it gave it character. it gave her character, because that's how i always remembered her.

as i continued to troll the diary, my hands settled on a clump of paper stuck together from some unknown gunk. it'd been years since she'd opened it, i'm sure. it had been locked in a box with other knick-knacks and forgotten treasures (or junk according to her mother) when she first moved out. i remember how excited she was to see the world, to start her life.

i lifted a corner of the first page and noticed a few stray letters as the paper hit the light.

rich...

intrigued, i stuck my finger between the two jammed pages and wiggled it around to loosen whatever was trapping them. with a slight rip, the pages came undone and i laid my eyes on a page doused in red ink. i turned my head back to keep watch for any sudden movements. i wouldn't want to be caught, but i figured she wouldn't mind. i couldn't imagine anything i would see being something she hadn't told me before. i continued to read, guarding the book carefully just in case.

he's beautiful. i can't believe how much. even saying his name makes me want to blush!

richard. people at school call him richie, but i feel silly calling him that... like i'm not cool enough.

and he's so handsome. a real lad. sometimes i catch myself staring at him during class- just wondering what it'd be like to know him. sometimes i wonder what it'd be like to just steal one kiss.

i hope he kisses me one day... maybe i'll try calling him tonight. he's been sick for a while and

my vision blurred suddenly and i felt a familiar knot grow in my throat. clearing it away, i set the book back down and wiped at my eyes, but the tears didn't let up. day after day i found it harder to believe that i could call (y/n) my own, that i could fall so hard for her every day and that she loved me so dearly. i always had a lingering doubt that it was all some sort of dream. that she could never really love a man who wasn't the big shot. someone who didn't grab all of the attention, that got pushed at and disregarded by press and photographers.

but she loved me. she really did. i rubbed at my eyes again, mouth trembling while i cleared my throat and sucked in a couple of deep breaths. it was odd of me to get so emotional. i rarely knew how far deep my lingering insecurities ran. not until they caught up to me on these sparse occasions.

"richie?" (y/n) called from downstairs. i had nearly forgotten where i was and i reacquainted myself with the aspects our new bedroom hopelessly littered with empty brown boxes.

"yes?" i call back, hoping that my voice would carry far enough to sound normal.

"i don't know where the oven mitts went!"