Adopted by Gallavich

Chapter eighteen:

The doctor was trying to bring the baby back to life and I was crying. "I'm so sorry it's my fault"I cry "Rachel you need to calm down honey" I keep crying "honey I need you to breath or your going to pass out" the nurse says. The nurse held bloody rags in her hand am I bleeding?It felt like time started to slowed down a lot. I feel so sleepy. My eyes start shutting "RACHEL"I hear Mickey yell. Everything was black. 

Jax's pov

They rushed Ian Mickey out they greeted me in the hall. "Is she ok?"I ask "We don't know".They have not brought out the baby yet and we've been pacing back and forth. But then the door opened.

Rachel's pov

I open my eyes to see my sister once more."Hey little sister"my sister hugs me "you did a good job he's beautiful" my sister holds the baby in her arms. He was beautiful "do you want to see your mommy?" she hands me the baby. "Hi handsome" he was bigger now and healthy "is he?"I ask "i'm sorry Ray" my son died "Am I dead?" she shakes her head no "You are stuck right now. Basically it's your choice to return or stay here with us" she smiles at the baby "Ian and Mickey they need me." "I know and I also know what you are going to pick because you are a good person. I'll take care of him for you."I hand her the baby "Before you go what did you want to name him?"she asks "Kaiser" the name my sister always wanted for her son. "We'll be waiting for you. I want you to live a life so don't come back until you have lived a full life"I nod "I love you" she says I hug her and kiss my son's forehead.  "I love you too." I say "now open your eyes" "open your eyes Rachel." Please baby just open your eyes"...

I open my eyes Ian and Mickey sit there "please open them"he says. I look up "dad?"I say. Was it all just a dream? "Where's the baby?"I ask Ian wipes his eyes "He didn't make it honey" my eyes start to feel with tears. I couldn't give them something I desperately wanted to give them. All of the pain and hard work wasted. "I'm sorry" I whisper "Look at me, this wasn't your fault you did so good baby. Things just happen and think of this now he's with your sister"Mickey says kissing my forehead. "Jax?" I look over and see him in tears. "What's up love"he wipes his eyes "can you lay with me please" he nods getting into the bed with me I put my head into his chest and cry.

Although I won't get to raise him or even watch him grow up I know he's in good hands. I know my sister will love him unconditionally until I can. They gave me the baby to hold he was small and fragile. Perfection. "I love you Kaiser"I kiss his little forehead. 

I was wheeled out of the hospital I felt numb. This was my fault I could have done something anything to prevent this. I can't fix the hole I made in everyone's heart. When I got home I went into my room and laid in bed covered by my blankets. I decided to be alone for a while denying to see Jax and not touch any of the food my dads left for me. This was my routine for the past three weeks crying, denying, and barely eating. I stopped taking my meds and at night I get my nightmares again only this time I watch my sister die and then my son. It keeps getting harder and harder to not just give up and let go.

My bedroom door opens "go away"I whisper "baby please come out. talk to me" Jax says I feel him sit on the bed. He pulls the covers off my face "Kaiser wouldn't want this for you Rachel"he says "leave me alone Jax." I say Jax starts getting annoyed "Rachel we both fucking lost our son. You didn't even fucking want to keep him in the first place so why don't you snap out of this bullshit." who the actual fuck does he think he is? "excuse me? I wanted to keep our son I wish we would have been able to. I'm sorry I wanted what was best for him. I fucking carried him for 8 months. I know we both lost him but I was the one who fucking took care of him I fucking couldn't protect him I couldn't even give him life!" I yell "Rachel..."he begins to say "no Jax shut the fuck up. I am tired of this relationship being so fucking back and forth i'm tired of fighting for nothing and arguing over little things. You made a promise to be there for me and you weren't. So i'm done take your fucking promise ring and get the fuck out"I pull it off my hand and throw it at him. "Let the fucking door hit you on the way out"I cover myself back up.

I hear the door shut and I break down it feels like i'm stuck in a nightmare. I can't wake up and I can't change it. Maybe I need to go away for a little bit just be by myself. I get up and start packing a small bag putting some money and clothes in. I wrote a note to my dads explaining why I left and that i'd be back soon.

Ian's pov

I knock on the door "Rachel princess can I come in?"I ask no response. I knock again usually I get a response of "leave me alone" or "please go away" but she stayed silent. I open the door the drawers empty her phone was left and no sign of her was left. "MICKEY!"I yell he runs up the stairs and into her room "where the fuck is she?"he says I look on her bed and see a piece of paper. "What does it fucking say" Mickey asks.

"Ian and Mickey, I'm sorry I left without saying anything. I just need time to myself. I need to clear my head. I'll be back I promise please don't come looking for me. Love Rachel" Mickey gets angry "Jax probably fucking told her to run away with him!"he yells balling up his fist he goes into our room and grabs his gun. "What are you doing Mick.."I question "going to find that piece of shit" he runs to his house and I chase closely behind him. He bangs on the door "open the fuck up!"he screams "Mickey?"Jax says Mickey pick Jax up by his throat and holds him up "Where is she" he yells. "Where's who?"Jax says confused Mickey squeezes tighter "WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT?!" I have never seen him so angry Jax gasps for air "Mickey let him go" I plea "NO" he says "babe please this won't bring her back" he looks back at me and drops him Jax holds his throat "Look I don't know where she is she broke up with me"he struggles to speak. 

Rachel finally snapped from everything that happened she snapped. This is all to familiar I think she may be bipolar. We called the police but they said they couldn't do a missing persons report until 24 hours. How can they be so fucking useless? We just want to find our daughter and help her who knows what will happen while she's gone.