𝐃𝐚𝐰𝐬𝐨𝐧|𝟑| [𝟏𝟖+] ✔

Chapter 8

ZARA

"Kerr kissed me."

Julie's head snapped to the side to look at me, cocked a brow. "When?" She asked, hands froze under the running tap water.

I look over my shoulder at Kerr, wiping down tables and whistling away. "Just before you came in, he practically pinned me up against the wall," I forced a nervous laugh, running my fingers through my ponytail, leaning against the counter. "I told him I wasn't ready."

I leave out the part where he got a little bit aggresive with me and slammed his fist against the wall beside my head, spit flying out his mouth when he cursed.

It's not like he isn't attractive, he is. But I don't look at him and feel the flutters in my stomach, butterflies, when he looks back at me.

I don't watch his every move and smile when he isn't looking, ginning when I catch him looking back at me.

I don't wake up in the morning and get excited to see him, excited to lay my eyes on him.

Kerr doesn't seem to be the accepting type, telling me I'm in denial and tried to kiss me again.

He's lucky my foot didn't fly up and knock his balls into his stomach. I pushed him away once again, told him to knock it off before we heard the bell ringing, Julie's voice calling out to us that she's here.

"After the way you two were when we were out, I'm not surprised. I fully expected a video of the two of you fucking on the dancefloor to be circulating the internet." She turned off the running water, drying her hands with the paper towels, "why did you say no?"

Wait, what?

I stand tall, crossing my arms in front of me. "What are you talking about?" I ask, head slightly tilted. "Me and Kerr?"

"You don't remember?" She looked past me, straight at Kerr, who is walking towards us with his bag and jacket on.

I shook my head at her, tight-lipped and making sure I don't make any eye contact with him when he walks next to me, picks up the envelope with his wages in it sitting next to me, telling us he will see us tomorrow for our next shift.

I felt that pang of uneasiness when I smelt his cologne, a smell I found familiar, but shouldn't. Why didn't I notice it earlier?

When I hear the bell, indicating that he's gone, I pull Julie's arm, so she looks at me. "What happened when we were out? I woke up in some hotel room, alone, no recollection of the night before. I couldn't even find my underwear," I can't control my rapid blinking or my grip on her arm tightening the longer she takes to answer me.

I swallow the bile rising to my throat at the memory of waking up, the blinding sun from the window, the rancid smell, the messy hotel room. I've tried not to think about it all, ignoring the feeling that I was missing something.

Was it him, Kerr?

I have the urge to run after him and question him, hit him, slap him hard across the face.

"You said you went home," she pulled out of my grip, rubbing her arm with a frown. "The two of you were all over each other- "

My cell starts to vibrate in my pocket, blaring the annoying iPhone ringer. Grace, I look at the screen, to Julie and back again. "I'll call you later," I say to Julie, who nods, pissed off, rubbing her arm where I gripped her.

"Hey, sorry, I'm just about to leave," I say into the receiver before abruptly hanging up, throwing my bag over my shoulder, and running out the café, across the road to the respite centre.

I'm breathless by the time I get to her office, apologizing again. "What do you need me to sign?"

"So..." she taps her fingers on the frosted glass desk, looking at me over her circle glasses. "... I think it's time we release all three of you. You're ready. Jane came to see me earlier and signed her parts, so we just need your signature for you and Theodore."

This is it. We are finally getting to hell out of here and back to normality. Far, far away from here.

Far away from Kerr. My subconscious cheers.

I nod quickly, a smile tugging at my lips. "I'm happy with that. I think we are going to leave the states altogether and go to Scotland."

"Scotland? Why are you so hell-bent on going there?" she asks, handing me a pile of papers and a pen. "Sign at the bottom, dear."

"That's where Theo is from," I admit, shrugging a shoulder and bring the black pen to begin signing, ignoring her glare.

While I'm signing, halfway through the pile, I ask. "Tell me again what happened? To Theo."

I already know what happened, but I keep having these dreams, thoughts, whatever they were, of Theo being a monster, killing me repeatedly in different ways. I need to be told he is a hero again, just one more time.

She looks at me with a clenched jaw, I see the muscles tick at the side. Why is she mad?

"Why? He's gone, Zara." She doesn't even try being nice about it, clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth and rolling her eyes.

"I know that. I just wanted to hear how it happened, I need to know exactly what happened, so I stop making up scenarios in my head." I sign the last paper and neatly pile them, knocking the bottom on the desk and handing them to Grace.

"He told me to run." She chews on her cheek, not making any eye contact while she looks through the pile. "I saw one of the guards hit him over the head with a blade and he dropped on impact."

The image that plays in my head has me nauseous, a painful shiver runs down my spine, quickly replaced with a bitter taste in my mouth. No, that's not what she said before. My inner voice is right, she just lied. She told me before that Mac, specifically, shot Theo numerous times.

Staying silent, staring at her, not taking my eyes off her face as hers look everywhere but at me. I hear my heartbeat in my ears, the throbbing pulse thumping against my neck.

The pressure gets more intense with every word she spits out. I grip the chair under me, feeling my nails cut into my palms. She fucking lied. Why?

"You should forget about it all. Focus on your son and getting away from everything here," she smiles a fake smile, one I could wipe off her with one quick movement of my hand. "Here." She hands me our new passports, an envelope full of cash. "Time to get moving." She nods to the door, holding her hand out for me to shake.

I inhale deeply through my nose, eyes flicking between each eye. Taking her hand in mine and moving it up and down I say, "what was his last words?"

I trusted her. She helped us when we needed it the most, got us out of that prison and gave us a roof over our heads, got me a job to try fit back into society. I should be grateful right now, and not picturing her demise.

My dad's words become clearer, not trusting her, not seeing Theo go down. "did my dad see it happen too?" my grip tightens, eyes burn into hers.

Why didn't I ask this six months ago?

What does this mean?

She looks down at our hands, still clamped together and her eyes meet my death stare. "Yes, he saw."

No, he didn't.

-OLD VERSION-UNEDITED