Tomorrow [Tsukishima Kei x Reader]

33

Tsukishima Kei's POV

I heard her.

When she said she was done with hoping, when she said that she was tired, I heard it. And when I did, it gave me pain I couldn't even describe.

Life beating her down was already to watch as it is, but seeing her do it to herself was nothing compared to the former.

"Don't leave, [Surname]."

I was looking down at the sheets as I told her that. I couldn't look at her because I didn't want to see any more of her beaten-down expression.

I could see it from the short time I looked at her. Her pale face wasn't new to me, sadly. But the look in her eyes were.

I've never seen her eyes look so tired like that. It was like I happened to witness the small hints of hope left be blown away by the wind like dust.

"Tsukki," she started.

"No. Please," I said.

"Tsukki?"

Her tone was surprised. I was too. I don't think I ever showed this much to anyone— pleading.

"I can't- I don't think I can accept that," I said.

"Accept what?" [Surname] asked.

"Losing you."

I looked up and faced her. Her expression was a surprised one and I knew exactly why. I was being too forward with how I felt— something I wasn't really known for.

"You can't just do that," I said, my voice a little shaky. "You can't just enter our lives, my life, then leave as quickly as you came."

"Tsukki."

"It's selfish, I know. But please, don't do that. Don't leave," I said, looking down again. My hands were on the bed, gripping the sheets as I tried to control what I was feeling.

I was trying so hard not to get overwhelmed by my emotions. If I did, I might start crying and I didn't want to do that in front of her.

'Shit. I can feel my chest getting heavier. I can't cry. Not now. Not in front of her.'

I flinched in surprise as I felt her right hand on my left one. She grabbed my hand and turned it to the side, her fingers perpendicular to mine.

"I'm sorry, Tsukki."

And that's what pushed me. The tears on my eyes fell to my glasses as my shoulders started shaking. I couldn't stop it anymore.

I gripped her fingers— making sure it wasn't too much to the point it'd hurt her.

"It scares me. The thought of you dying," I said.

"I'm sorry," she said, wrapping her left arm around my shoulder and pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry I made you go through this."

"I'm sorry [Surname]. I didn't want to make you feel guilty," I said, holding onto her left arm with my right hand. I calmed down my breathing as I tried to stop myself from crying.

"You didn't. Don't worry, Tsukki," she said with a soft voice. "I'm sorry for losing hope while I kept telling you I was fighting. It wasn't right."

[Surname] pulled back, undoing the hug but kept her hand in mine.

"Come here," she said, pulling me.

Like always, I sat beside her with my left leg folded on the bed and with my right feet still touching the floor.

I let go of her hand as I wiped my tear-stained glasses.

I felt her head against my shoulder as she stared forward like how she always does when she leans against me.

"I don't think I want to die, Tsukki," [Surname] said. "But I'm tired of hoping I won't."

"Then I'll hope for you," I said.

"Are you sure about that? Hoping can be really tiring."

"I'm not really doing much since it's winter break soon."

I heard [Surname] chuckle, making me smile a little despite the heavy atmosphere.

"Hoping can be really disappointing, Tsukki," she said.

"Well, I'm used to disappointments."

[Surname] pulled back and raised her eyebrow at me while a playful grin was on her lips.

"A play it safe person like you is used to disappointment? You sure about that?"

"Shut up, [Surname]," I said, rolling my eyes at her. "I was trying to comfort you and that's what I get?"

"Oh, I'm not gonna shut up, especially about Tsukki crying for me."

I glared at her as she finished her sentence. "You won't talk about that."

"But it was such an honor for me to see the one and only Tsukishima Kei crying over me."

"Idiot," I said, rolling my eyes.

[Surname] smiled at me before leaning against my shoulder again.

"I'm gonna try," she said.

"Try what?"

"Try hoping again. Try fighting. For you, for my parents, for all my friends. But most of all, I'm gonna try for me."

A small smile found its way to my face as I heard her say that.

'You don't know how much relief I feel after hearing you say that.'

"I can't promise that my hope on getting better will be strong, but I'll do my best to keep it in me."

"Maybe that's where it needs to start. The decision to start trying again," I said.

"Like you with volleyball?" she asked.

"You really are a volleyball idiot, aren't you?" I said with a smirk. I knew she didn't see it since we were both facing forward but I still smirked.

"Maybe this is my character arc," [Surname] joked. "This whole bit where I gain hope again is the peak of it."

"What are you saying?" I asked, confused.

"You know, like how they do in a series. This character undergoes something that will change who they are."

"Sometimes I worry for your brain," I said.

"Oh you and I, buddy," [Surname] said, giggling. "When I lose hope again, can you knock some sense in me once more?"

"Sure, you want me to bring fake tears next time?" I asked.

"I think I'd prefer something else. I don't think I like seeing you cry, even if it's fake tears," she said.

"Alright," I said. "I'm gonna bring things you'll miss if you don't try to get better."

"Are you gonna bring me a whole volleyball court here?" [Surname] asked, giggling.

"I can bring a miniature one," I said with a grin.

"That sounds nice. But, now that I think of it, there's something else I want to do."

"What?" I asked.

"I wanna watch a movie."

"Okay," I said. "Let's watch one next time."

I glanced at her and watched as a smile appeared on her face.

"I'd love that."