FAR AWAY [JENLISA ]

13| R E M O R S E

____________

R E M O R S E
/rɪˈmɔːs/

deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed.

° ° °

L I S A
__________

Seoul, South Korea
6:48 p.m.

I was a good student. School for me was just a breeze. A-plus, nothing less. I pushed myself because I knew that I had the capacity within me.

Why music?

Why all this fame and spotlight?

I could've easily passed as an engineer or a scientist. Instead, I chose music.

What if I was an engineer and I could build a time machine?

Impossible, yeah. Dreaming numbs the heartache.

I'd stop the younger me and fix the mistakes I've made. Go back and choose another career, where I call the shots and take control. Where I could've manned up and told Jennie the truth.

I'd give it all up, just to be normal.

Being a famous artist, all you think of is pushing yourself to achieve your goals and finally get onto the big screen to say, "I made it."

We tend to ignore the finer prints behind fame. You become a world entertainer and, most times than not, you put others before yourself.

Society feeds off on our pain through music, art, expression, dramatics.

Broken hearts make the finest poets, writers, dancers, actors.

We've experienced enough to express our pain for the world to see.

Their own personal pain is a small fuse and we are the fire.

We're a small piece that fills their empty and broken hearts.

Normally, we should be grateful for being in the financially stable position that I'm in. People look up to me and all I have to do is share a part of me. No big deal.

Yeah right.

Physically, and financially, I'm in a great space, but inside, I feel lifeless. There's a decay within that's been growing for a long time now.

My friends and family fill some parts of me, but there'll always be a crack beneath it all, all of what's left of me slowly slipping away.

If only my life was affected by the choices that I wish to make, I'd do them, but there's many other people that I have to take into consideration.