gummy smile

The Bar

Every leisure time I have, I always go to bar. It is fun time for me. It is already Wednesday. Middle of the week party. Yeayyy!

Of course my best friends are not here. They only come in weekends. I want booze. I go to bar take something strong. Then that cinnamon come to my nostril.

_you have a nice perfume. Mind to share its name with me? ' I asked turning my face to Forth.

_I'm not using one. You are mistaken. What are you doing here? I thought every medical students are nerds and can't make time for booze in weekdays. ' he chuckled.

This gummy smile start to annoy me! While he is laughing any of my princesses come to me. They only drown to this guy. I start to hate him. Is he a cock blocker or what?

I ignore him. Try to enjoy my drink and the girl on my lap. She is pretty, hot and I must add talented too. I whispered to her ear while licking her earlobe a bit and said;

_ is your place near or you want to go upstairs.?

She grinned and take my drink, put it to table and tug my arm. We went her place. I took my daily dose of stress reliever. She is good I must say. After 3 am I went to my dorm. To get some sleep.

Its been a while I didn't see Ming with Pha. He always find time for him. But almost for two week not only Ming but the whole Eng gang were missing.

_What happened? Where is your little puppet Ming? I didn't see him coming or vise versa.

_ They are busy with SOTUS. They will be in the beach 1 more week. Why? You missed your Forth that much?

_Huhh! Why is it My Forth? He is not MY!

_Keep denying Beam. I was there remember. But don't do what I did to Ming. We suffered so much. I don't want you to do the same. You should consider your feelings.

_Why you think that way? I don't feel something for him.

_ Beam. You are my friend since diaper. I know you and Kit like my palm. When you think you like Kit I was the one who cleared your mind. When You said 'only Forth can Free Lunch from you' it was true. You know that, we know that but he doesn't.

Beam! We all know you don't treat anyone free drink or lunch even a pocky. No! but you already share what is on your plate.

Now I'm asking you. WHY?

I froze for a second but reasoned my behavior as normal since he helped me. Its only a treat right? People do that to thank the others. Its not absurd.

_ Pha. Its not what you think. He is not as he look. He looks so scary but I know he is fragile. He looks like bad guy but he is not. he is Fucking virgin! At first I thought he lied to me but I confirmed it. He really don't play along.

_ I feel ashamed of my behavior. He and I don't fit. We are not at the same world, I guess . Now. I don't want you to say this bullshit again. What you have with Ming was so special. That's not me. If you know me you will understand what I mean. ' I said. A tear dropped while speaking.

I need to clear my mind. I don't need drama.

I don't need shame spirals.

I don't want to be a drama queen.

Time to man up and move on. There is noting going on between us. There can't be. And I promise myself there Won't be. I don't want to upset Forth. He is good with his gummy smile. I don't want to take it from him. I can not take his happiness.

Forth's POV

Its been 3 weeks I haven't seen Beam. We didn't exchange numbers and I don't want to ask Lam for that. I know he is suspicious. I did whatever it takes to be near Beam but we had Sotus for 2 weeks and then their exam blocks came. Ming told me to stay away from doc gang during this week.

I waited for Beam in the bar everyday. But in the weekend Pha and Kit were here with their partner but no Beam. I asked casually to Pha and he said Beam went to capital to his parents. Okay! Maybe he missed them.

Another week without Beam in the Bar. Maybe he changed his usual bar. I should go to medical on Monday. I need my free lunch. I need my smile back. I need his gorgeous look. I want to fill this emptiness on the mountain. I went hiking last week. Maybe I should go again tomorrow. No tonight definitely tonight. Maybe stargazing can redeem my emptiness.

I started my engine. Me and my roadrunner can go anywhere. I went my dorm. My backpack for mountain always ready to go. I grab some sandviches too. I went to the stargazing.

But a faimiliar car was there. And a familiar figure sitting o top of the car. More like lying on top. Gazing the stars. When I approach I heard the sobs! OMG is he crying? No no noo...

_Beam. What are you doing here? Why are you crying? What happened? ' I was panicked. I didn't expect to see him here, more crying.

_did I drink that much? Now I'm hallucinating. Phana was right. You are different. Can I see your gummy smile more? I really missed you. Do you think I can move on? ' he said and touch my lips. Trying to make me smile. I chuckled his antics.

_of course you can see me smiling. You are the reason that smile. Beam you really are the reason that smile. Do you think I can smile without you? I missed you Beam. Please don leave me again. Please' now I'm crying too. We cuddeled each other but I don't think Beam will remember all of our conversation tomorrow.

I arranged my tent. We slept in my slepingbag. I cuddled him. Exhaled his vanilia scent. Afterall it is his scent not the alcohol he drink. I feel a bit happy and sad. I wish he was sober enough to remember all of this. I will make sure this is real.

The mountain sure fill my emptiness.