ROUGE (androgynousxstraight)(bxb) -ongoing

Chapter 01 - The Only Constant Thing

Chapter One
"The Only Constant Thing"
Roughelio's Point of View

I'm an androgyne.

I am neither feminine nor masculine.

I can be both a man and a woman.

And no, I don't have two sex organs.

I can just be deceiving of my physical characteristics and I was fine with this.

But it seems that the only constant thing in this world was 'Change' itself.

Because just like everyone else, I was subject to change. But mine's a little... different now.

Kasi simula ngayon, alam ko na na magbabago ang buhay ko. Because, I know my family is going to change.

After my father's death. Nagkalubog-lubog na kami sa utang, si Mama ay isa lamang government worker kagaya ni Papa. She can't take care enough of her children and that made her lose hope for a better future sa pamilya namun.

But then there's this woman who offered help. But for an exchange.

To have me as an exchange.

"Ma, ipamimigay niyo nalang po ba talaga ako?" Tanong ko sa nanay ko na mangiyak-ngiyak habang nagliligpit ito ng mga damit ko. My voice was broke. At mistulang ulan na rumagasa nalang bigla ang mga luha ko.

She was really silent for the past few hours nang matapos silang mag-usap ng babaeng 'di ko naman kilala. At takot man akong itanong ito sa kaniya, but I summed up the courage to do so dahil ayaw ko ng ganito.

This isn't what I was born for. I wasn't born for anyone else's family. I was born for this family.

I wasn't listening attentively to what they talked about. But there's one thing that I am sure, that she's going to take me away from them and that she decided to just sell me off to the woman.

"Gelo, anak." Lumingon si Mama sa akin atsaka hinawakan ang kamay ko. "Mag-aaral ka, ha?" Paalala niya sa akin. Parang hindi makatingin ng diretso sa akin ang Mama ko, para na itong iiyak pero pinipigilan niya lang ang kaniyang mata at napasinghot para makontrol nito ang kaniyang emosyon.

Pero ako? Hindi eh.

Umiiyak na ako sa harap nito. May magagawa ba ako para patahanin ang sarili ko?

Wala.

"Ma naman, p-pano kayo?" Nagdadabog na ako habang hinihigpitan nito ang paghawak sa kamay ko.

"P-pasensya ka na anak. Dahil walang magawa ang nanay mo para sa'yo." She begged. "Pagbutihin mo ang pag-aaral at 'wag mo na kaming alalahanin ng mga kapatid mo. Isipin mo nalang kasi na biyaya ng diyos at may gustong umampon sa'yo." Ani Mama sa akin habang nakahawak at nakatingin na sa akin ng diretso sa mata. Umiiyak na ako sa harap niya pero hindi parin ito umiiyak.

I want her to cry in front of me. Gusto kong ilabas niya din ang tinatago nitong nararamdaman dahil alam kong mabigat na ito. It's just going to add weight to the burden she's already been carrying.