ROUGE (androgynousxstraight)(bxb) -ongoing

Chapter 50 - Who's Going to Hell?

Chapter Fifty
"Who's Going to Hell?"
Daniel Rouge Gustilyo's Point of View

Rinig ko na naman ang katok sa pintuan ko sa kwarto. Everyone was so persistent to convince me to go outside and to hang out with them. Pero eto akong nagmumok-mok lang sa loob ng madilim na kwarto. I wasn't crying already, I might have been immune to the pain and maybe it's because I ran out of tears to cry.

I just wanted to lock myself for the meantime. But it seems like, 'di nila alam kung ano ba ang gusto ko.

Is it that hard to read me?

"Dan." This time, it was Theo who tried to convince me to join him to play with my baby brother.

I still go out of my room actually — to eat. So 'di naman talaga ako nagmumok-mok sa kwarto ng napakatagal. 'Di lang ako lumalabas kasi gusto ko lang muna mapag-isa. I just want to clear my mind for awhile.

On the other hand, Abeline was taking care of Anthony and she often let my brother in my room to play with me — kaya 'di ako mag-isa sa kwarto paminsan. I have my only family with me.

Kumatok ulit si Theo sa pintuan ko. "Dan, it's been a week already." He continued, I can hear his voice through the door. "Please, can you go out 'din?" He begged at me. "I don't really like seeing you act like this. You're making me worry already."

Hindi ako sumagot sa kaniya at nagmasid lang sa bintana ng bahay. Naglakad-lakad ako patungo sa bintana na kung saan sumisilip ang tanging liwanag. It was a sunny day at ang sigla-sigla sa labas kaya napatayo ako at napasandal sa bintana.

Ilang minuto din ang pagmamasid ko nang bigla akong nagulat dahil binulagta ako ni Theo sa labas ng bintana. "Dan," he uttered in his usual gruff and nonchalant tone. "Won't you let me come in?" Tanong nito sa akin.

"Ano ba ang gusto mo?" I asked him.

"I just wanted to check you out, see you, talk to you — anything just so I could make sure you're okay." He added, he tried to smile at me but I just gave him my usual blank stare.

"Nakita mo na ako. Bumalik ka na dun, go to your girlfriend." Utos ko naman sa kaniya.

"Oh," napakamot naman ito ng kaniyang batok. Theo was wearing a tight polo so I can see how his biceps form on his sleeve — although tempting, I managed to turn my back from him and was about to walk away when he said, "We broke up."

That response didn't even intrigue me. I couldn't care less.

Ano bang paki-alam ko? I don't care anymore, he had inflicted pain inside me already and his' breaking up with his girlfriend won't mend my broken heart and put it back together. I went through a lot of pain already. Ayaw ko na masaktan ulit.

Bahala na siya.

Kasi ako, sawa na.

So I continued walking and slumped myself on my bed — not realising that I had dozed myself off to sleep.

I was awakened by a pain on the left side of my head, it felt like something was hammering my head. Idagdag mo pa na dahil sa sobrang init kaya parang gustong pumutok ng ulo ko. It was a migraine, kaya dali-dali akong bumangon at naghanap ng gamot sa banyo ko.