ROUGE (androgynousxstraight)(bxb) -ongoing

Chapter 07 - Feelings on the Line

Chapter Seven
"Feelings on the Line"
Dani Rouge Gustilyo's Point of View

Never in my life have I ever heard someone say he wanted to protect me. Never have I ever heard one say it in my life. I used to be the one to say that to my family, to my sister and my two brothers that no matter what happens I will always be there for them and I will always protect them.

Theo was the first person to have sworn himself that he'll protect me.

Hindi ako makasalita buhat nang nabigla ako dahil sa sinabi nito sa Mom niya. Kahit ang Mom nito ay nabigla din, but she was quick to shift her expression into something pleased — no— rather proud of her son.

"You didn't really have to do that for me." I confronted Theo as soon as he's inside his room. Sinundan ko ito. "Akala ko wala kang paki-alam sa akin? So ano 'yun?" Tanong ko sa kaniya nang makapasok ako sa kwarto niya.

I wanted to reassure myself about what he was feeling. Bakit bigla nalang itong nagiging protective sa akin?

"I told you once, I just don't want how things work inside the house." Lumingon si Theo sa akin at tumama na naman ang tingin naming dalawa. God, those eyes. It'll bore you to death, pero ang sarap lang titigan.

I was so deep in thought, na hindi ko pala alam na ang susunod na sinabi nito sa akin ay makakasakit. "I don't really care about you."

"You dont?" I asked again, I was trying to compose myself not to breakdown in front of him. "Then what about Eric? You took the flowers he gave me. You helped me see my mom, and now you want to protect me. Now tell me Marco, hindi ba 'yun pag-aalala?" Napagtaasan ko siya ng boses. I know wala akong karapatan itanong ito sa kaniya dahil matanda siya sa akin ng dalawang taon, at dahil isa lang naman akong pusa sa bahay. Pero gusto ko lang malaman ang katotohanan kung ano ba 'tong pinaparamdam sa akin ni Theo.

Dahil it confuses me.

He confuses me.

I saw him clench his fist. "They don't mean anything Rouge. Stop making assumptions and putting your feelings on the line. Wala 'yun. WALA LANG LAHAT NG IYON. Whatever you are thinking, erase that shit out of your mind. Because I. Don't. Care. About. You." Galit na galit ito na sumigaw sa akin.

Napalunok naman ako. This was the first time he yelled and got angry at me. I tried not to flinch my eyes just so I could show him, I wasn't affected with those staggering words he yield infront of me. But I am a weakling and that left me crying. But I managed to storm outside his room and went inside my own room.

I started crying myself again.

Assumera kasi ako.

I know that for the past few weeks of being here, I was an emotional wreck. Dahil paminsan hindi ko na macontrol ang sarili ko at napapaiyak na lang and here's that episode again. Alam mo 'yung feeling na basta-basta ka nalang magiging fragile dahil mabigat ang dinadala mong emosyon? Kasi no matter how hard you try to keep things inside, they will still overflow. And now, I'm overflowing with emotions already.

It took me time to fix myself again and wipe the tears off my face. I reminded myself:

"I shouldn't be acting like this."