ROUGE (androgynousxstraight)(bxb) -ongoing

Chapter 04 - Don't Turn Off the Lights

Chapter Four
"Don't Turn Off the Lights"
Dani Rouge Gustilyo's Point of View

Exactly at that very moment, my mind became clouded with confusion. Alam ko na I was told that they wanted me to be a girl. Pero I wasn't told that they wanted me to be someone else's lover.

To be my brother's lover?

The family is sick in the head.

Pilit ko mang pigilin paminsan ang emosyon ko. Hindi ko kaya, kasi nga ang hirap. Hindi pa ako nakamove on sa pagkamatay ng Papa ko, at ngayon naiwan ko na ang pamilya ko dahil nga binili na ako ng pamilyang ito para lang makasurvive ang pamilya ko para hindi sila malubog sa utang. I know I was the sacrificial lamb just so they can survive.

And I had to live with that.

Often times at night before I go to sleep, I find myself crying. Sometimes I would scream inside my room at iiyak ng iiyak. At feeling ko naman wala sigurong makakarinig sa akin dahil sa sound proof 'tong kwarto ko.

But I was wrong.

I lost count of how many times I cried ever since I came here and tonight was that episode again, I was in the middle of my own ritual of explosion of feelings nang marinig kong tumunog ang iPhone ko. I did not hesitate to pick it up. "FOR FUCK'S SAKE ROUGE STOP CRYING." sigaw nito sa akin sa kabilang linya.

Hindi ko pala alam na maririnig nito ako sa kwarto niya. "Can't you stop crying Daniel? Ang ingay-ingay mo." he yelled again. Napasorry naman ako nang wala sa oras at agarang pinunasan ang mga luha ko.

"If you want to cry, cry silently." Maktol nito sa akin at 'di na ako nakasagot dahil nakinig lang ako sa bulyaw nito sa akin sa kabilang linya. "Nag-aaral pa ako dito." He added.

Oh s-hit!

'Di ko pala alam na may exam kami bukas na inabala ko ang sarili ko sa pagpipiga ng emosyon ko. I was dumbfounded nang marinig kong nag-aaral ito. Kaya napatayo ako nang dis oras atsaka nagbukas ng iPad ko para mag-aral.

It actually took me half an hour of frustration and whining, I was literally screaming dahil 'di ko magets ang lesson namin. Honestly it's far different than what my school teaches.

It's more complicated rather.

"Ah Shit." I yelled all of a sudden dahil I was trying to understand the lesson pero hindi ko talaga magets. I know I don't cope up with things that easily, reading by means of technology is not my forte. Pinalaki kasi ako sa libro at hindi sa TV.

Napasabunot ako ng buhok out of frustration. Pero nabigla naman ako nang marinig kong magbukas ang pintuan ng kwarto ko.

Theo was standing at the door and he was holding his phone along with his iPad. Nakasuot ito ng glasses tapos nakasuot din siya ng checkered na boxer shorts at puting tshirt. His forehead was creased too and I noticed he actually looks sexy in glasses.

Lumapit ito sa akin at nagtanong. "What's wrong? You don't get it?" His forehead creased even more out of frustration. "You've been screaming on the other line."

Just then I realised I was dumb not to notice that I was actually screaming out my frustrations habang nakacall parin ito sa akin. But I asked him nonetheless, "Paano mo naman nalaman?" He was quick to show me his phone, and he was still calling me on the other line.