ROUGE (androgynousxstraight)(bxb) -ongoing

Chapter 23 - Devil Clad In A Red Ball Gown

Chapter Twenty Three
"Devil Clad In A Red Ball Gown"
Daniel Rouge Gustilyo's Point of View

And so the show started.

I didn't put on a smile and everyone was silent when the curtains opened. Abeline motioned me to smile but I didn't give her my smile. Instead, I portrayed my own real emotion. It was an apathetic response to this show and tell play they had put me into. Theo held my hand and I just let him walk me down the stairs.

Clad in red ball gown that was embossed in golden glitters I strut my way down. Not even flinching, just plain looking at the foreheads of people anticipating for me.

Everyone was silent.

Some even gasped when they saw Daniel Rouge walking down the stairs. I even heard them whispering na; bakit wala akong ka-emo-emosyon? lamay ba 'tong kaarawan ko? They didn't have to whisper since it's useless, I can hear them murmur anyways.

Nang nakababa na ay agad na nagchange ang music then Theo danced with me as what we practiced. I was nervous — he wasn't. He's used to this anyway.

I didn't give him even a quick glance for I don't want want to make myself hurt even more. Because apparently something's off with him. But still, I kept my cool dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang magagawa ko out of frustration and anger.

The whole dance bored me out na nagmamadali na akong matapos ito. We were just dancing, and everyone was just looking at me. I even saw Ringo with Cedric and Romeo with Dylan and that random guy na stoic din ang pagmumukha, I forgot to ask for his name but I think his name was Drake? Nang tumama ang tingin naming dalawa ni Eric, 'di ito nagdalawang-isip na ngumiti sa akin. 

I nod at them — at him.

We danced until the music stopped and I went back to my seat in front of everyone. Tinabihan naman ako ni Theo at nagsimula nang magsalita ang host. I didn't even listen to him instead, I just looked at the oblivion.

Wala akong paki-alam sa mundo ko. Not even minding that Theo's beside me holding my hand. I don't care.

I don't care at all.

I just want this to end.

I'm drowning I can feel myself drowning because of despair.

I just want to get this over and done with. I know I feel like something bad is going to happen. I know Theo is not being real to me. He's lying. I can feel it. Alam ko na para akong tanga dahil nakasuot ako ng gown sa harap ng mga taong mapanghusga. Alam ko sa sarili ko na mukha akong gaga!

Napalunok ako dahil alam kong parang tutulo na naman ang mga luha ko.

But still I managed to control them.

And I was so good at it.

...

The program went on and suddenly umalis nalang si Theo at iniwan ako. Not even excusing himself.

He had an urgent call and I got disappointed in him... again.

There he go again...