What Deceit Looks Like | ✓

15: cassidy

The sound of someone talking stirs me out of my sleep. "No...Stay." I open one eye and realize that I'd fallen asleep on Maddox's couch with him. "Don't leave."

"Maddox?" My voice is thick from sleeping as I turn my head to look at him.

"Please," He murmurs, moving around so much Maddox is about to fall off the couch; that's when I realize he's talking in his sleep.

Ty used to have nightmares after Dad died, and I learned that the best thing to do is to let them continue having it. Waking them up is something that doesn't do any good for anyone, even if it's hard to watch.

I sit up entirely and move to the other side of the couch to let him have his space. Maddox is silent for a few minutes, and I start to think that it might be over. "Paige!" He yells out, sitting up with a start grabbing at his chest.

There's a wild look in his eye, and his face is glistening in the shadows being cast from a light left on over the sink in the kitchen. He's breathing heavily, running his hands over his face when he notices me on the other side of the couch, "Fuck Cass, did I wake you up?" He asks, and I notice the slight wobble in his voice.

"No, you didn't," I respond, and he nods, breaking our eye contact, but we both know I'm lying. "Are you okay?" I ask after a moment, and Maddox stays silent.

"It was just a bad dream," He shakes his head as if he can get rid of it like water stuck in your ear. "It was just a bad dream," Maddox is trying to convince himself. He gets up without another word and disappears into the hallway.

I pull my hair back off of my neck into a sloppy bun to try and distract myself before moving on to roll the sleeves of Maddox's dress shirt from tonight that I stole from him before we put a movie on. I'm not sure what to do in this scenario, but it's clear that it has something to do with Paige. Dean's words echo through my head. "Has he told you about Paige and Boston, or are you still pretending that it doesn't matter?"

It does matter, but how can I expect Maddox to open up to me when I don't open up to him? There are things I can never tell him because he would never look at me the same, but pieces? I trust him.

Trust is a hard thing for me because look how Noah and I turned out? I put my trust in the wrong person, and the only thing that came of it was secrets and lies. I hate the secrets and lies.

I want Maddox to be able to trust me because I do care about him; more than I should.

Around ten minutes have passed since he disappeared, and I'm surprised when he comes back out. I didn't think he would.

I don't know if I'm overstepping or not when I get up to sit next to him. I don't say anything as I rest a hand on his shoulder.

Maddox turns his head to look at me, and there is so much pain in his eyes that I want to take it all away, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize; you can't control a dream. Otherwise, they would all be good ones," I remind him gently. This is Maddox without all his layers, and this is me without all mine. "Ty used to get nightmares frequently after my dad died. We shared a room, and if his nightmare didn't wake me up, Ty crawling into bed with me would. I always tried so hard to protect him, but I couldn't protect him from the nightmares."

Maddox brushes a thumb over my cheek, "How old were you when your dad died?"

"Nine. He died in front of us from a brain aneurysm. Ty was four, but he was old enough to remember it."

"And Ty, if you don't mind me asking?"

I let out a shaky breath. "After my dad died, we lost everything. My mother became an alcoholic, and one night I spent the night at my best friend's house. Her most recent tool had left her, and she ran out to get more booze while she was drunk. She... flipped the car, and Ty died. He was only eight." I pause for a second feeling the lump form in my throat, "She spent two years in jail and then drank herself to death five months after my eighteenth birthday." Saying that my mom died is easy. She should have been killed in the accident with Ty, but she wasn't. It's easier thinking she's dead.