What Deceit Looks Like | ✓

23: cassidy

He shrugs, "I don't care."

My jaw hits the floor. "What do you mean you don't care?"

"If I'm being honest, I knew before you just told me." Maddox admits, casually taking another bite of his burger. I try to find the right words to say, but I can't. He knew? But how?

"Why did you never say anything?" I sputter. My hands are shaking as I set my half of the sandwich down.

Maddox leans back in his chair, "Did you want me to say something about it?" He doesn't at all seem bothered by this. Calling Dean after my fight with Noah was the end of the world compared to this.

I am absolutely floored. "I'm guess I'm just confused."

"When I first found out, I was suspicious. It was the night you met Hayes and Sephine. Someone approached me while you were chatting with Tessa and Seph, warning me of what you had done to them. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how good of an actress you are."

"It's never been an act with you." The words blurt immediately causing Maddox to smile.

"I'm glad to hear that. A lot of moments made sense after I found out. The reason I couldn't find your name on the guest list was because you were never supposed to be there. I got the sense that you were trying to turn your life around, and I'd be crazy to judge you when I've never walked in your footsteps."

I reach across the table and rest my hand on Maddox's. "I never wanted any of your money, I promise. I was afraid that once I told you who I was, you would want nothing to do with me."

"Cass, it's okay. If I were in your shoes, I don't know what I would have done either. I called the person back and asked them not to involve the police. Whatever you took from them, I'm sure they are much happier with what I gave them." Maddox's smile is sincere. "I'm just glad you finally felt like you could tell me."

"Why are you so willing to see the good in me? I'm not Paige." I ask, trying to understand this. His reaction makes no sense.

"Because I'm too selfish to walk away from you. You're a good person, and I can see that." His cheeks start to pink, along with the tops of his ears, "It's been a long time since I've let someone in. I know you're not Paige, and I'm not trying to pretend that you are. She had her faults too. I don't want you to feel like I'm comparing you to her."

I pull my hand back to my lap, "I'm afraid that I won't be enough for you." And then there's the words I leave unspoken: I'm afraid there isn't enough room left in his heart for me because he still loves Paige. I can't compete with the memory of a dead girl.

He's taken aback, "If I haven't proven to you by now that I'm serious about wanting something with you, then I'm sorry. Yes, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with Paige. It was all planned out. Did I feel lost when she disappeared? Absolutely." Maddox's blue eyes are unwavering. He's telling the truth. "But she wouldn't have wanted me to put my life on hold for her. That's not who Paige was. Letting you see the parts of me that have been scarred by her is terrifying, but you need to see them to understand who I am. I don't want to make any promises I can't keep, but I have a hard time imagining my life without you in it."

I nod slowly because he's right. There is no point in comparing myself to her because I can't compare Noah and Maddox. We might have been together for years, but he was never there for me the way Maddox is right now. Everything was an argument. Everything was about money. Everything was a scam. The only argument Maddox and I have had was after I called Dean when Noah hit me. I don't think that it even counts as an argument.
"Thanks Maddox," I smile appreciatively, "You're right. I can't compare us because we're different people. I just really appreciate you giving me a chance." It's more than I deserve. "I'm going to pay you back every penny."