White Christmas {A Narnia Fan Fic} (ON HOLD)

4. Explaining

       Edmund sighed. "The White Witch......she ordered her wolves to......well.....bite me, claw me. Those kind of things." He whispered.

     Peter was horrified.

"Where?" Peter asked, looking down at Edmund's arm, knowing very well that it wasn't just his arm they did.

   "They bit my arm and clawed my back. On top of the whip lashes too." Edmund winced at the memories, memories that would haunt him forever. 

     "Why didn't you tell me?" Peter asked softly, tears filling his eyes.

  "I-I don't know. I just didn't." Edmund buried his face in Peter's shirt. 

     They sat like this for a few minutes, when Edmund felt a pair of arms hugging him from behind. 

    He sat up and found Lucy hugging him with tears rolling down her face.

 "Oh man, you heard...." Edmund bit his lip. He was going to try to keep it from Susan and especially Lucy.  "You weren't supposed to hear that Lu." He murmered. 

      Lucy sobbed as she buried her face in his arms. "It was all our fault." She sobbed, " If we hadn't been so hard on you, you wouldn't have hated us so much. It was all our fault."

       Peter and Susan looked at each other, guilt washing over them. They only knew too well that it was indeed their fault, no matter how many times Edmund said it wasn't. They had been to hard on him, and he had hated them. But Edmund had said time and time again that it wasn't their fault. 

       "It wasn't your fault Lu, none of you are to blame for what I did. I could have declined Jadis's offer, I could have stopped myself from going to her castle. But I didn't, and I nearly sent you all to your deaths! I was horrified when Jadis called her wolves and sent them off to the Beaver's. I realised what she wanted them to do and I was horrfied that I told her where she could find you and send her wolves to-to.....k-kill you all." Edmund hugged Lucy tightly, looking at Peter over Lucy's head. 

        Guilt could be seen clearly on Peter's face, Susan's too. 

     "But I should never have been so hard on you. We used to be so close! And then, everything just went wrong...." Peter's voice trailed off. He was angry at himself, he was angry at whatver had changed them years back.

    Silence filled the room as each one was buried in their own thoughts, the fire crackling in the background.

       "Do you..... Do you know what changed me?" Edmund looked at Peter who was looking down at his hands. 

     Peter looked up, questionly. He shook his head. He never really asked Edmund what had changed him, he had always assumed that he had done something wrong that had upset Edmund.

     Edmund sighed and looked down at Lucy before looking back up at Peter.

  "You remember when mum told us that we would change schools and go to a boarding school? It was just after we learned that dad was going off to fight." Edmund searched Peter's eyes. Peter nodded. "Yes, I remember. You weren't very pleased about it." Peter looked puzzled. What has changing schools got to do with all this? He thought.

      "Well, you fitted in all right, but I...... I had a harder time. You didn't know about this, because I didn't tell you, but, I was bullied. A lot. You may have wondered why I looked awful all the time, well, it was because I was bullied. That's what happened. I became mean and spiteful, I bullied others, I hated everything...... it was only at school at first......then I became mean and spiteful to my own family. I picked on Lucy, I was rude and I scowled all the time at mum and Susan, and even worse, I was mean to my own brother. A brother who had cared for me and still does care for me. We argued and quareled all the time, it may have looked like I had hated you, but I didn't really. No matter how many times we had argued, I never hated you, any of you. I still loved all of you and I still do. I hated myself for what I was doing, being mean and spiteful and hating my own family. So it was never your fault, it was mine." Freash tears rolled down Edmund's face. 

       He looked up at Peter and was surprised to see tears rolling down his cheeks. 

   "Oh Eddie......" Peter choked. He had no idea this had all happened, he had no idea. 

        Susan too had tears in her eyes. "You could have told us Ed. We could have helped. We're family, if there's anything wrong you only have to tell one of us." She said softly.

     "I wanted to tell you, but you were too busy with your friends, I didn't think you'd have time for me." Edmund mumbled.

     "Oh Eddie, of course we have time for you! Family always comes first, no matter what." Peter managed to choke out before pulling Edmund into a tight hug. Susan joined them and they sat like this for a minute before a voice piped up, "If family comes first then I'd like to breathe please!"

     They all laughed as Lucy struggled to escape from between Edmund and Peter who had been crushing her in the hug. 

    Family really did come first, and they all spent the night in Edmund's room having fun together as a family.

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    Hope you all enjoyed reading this!!!! I'll update as soon as I can!!!! :)

xxx Claire :)