The Impossible Love

am i over him?

I sat in the toilet weeping my eyes out!

I couldn't stop...

I don't know why but I just felt really emotional..

It's just he has this effect on me and it's as if he doesn't give a fudge about anything and it is so not fair....

I don't know what to do..

And after what he did to me..

I gave him so much trust, I trusted him with everything and then he went and cheated on me...

With my sister!!!!!!

But I have to be over him. I promised myself I wouldn't fall for him again, it's just it is so hard, with his perfect hair, abs, smile and everything else really I mean for me the list is endless.

Am I over him?

I mean.. Am I really over him?

God when he was next to me in the library, it felt so good, it felt so right, that's what upset me so much, and know I'm here in pain and I can't take it that everything feels this way when it comes to him... I don't know whether he is friend or foe, whether to trust him or not or most importantly whether of I should try loving him again...

Suddenly my chain of thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door followed by a sweet and sugary voice,

"hey Nat it's me L, are you okay, can I come in?"

I wipe my eyes quickly and reply,

"yeah."

I get up from my position on the floor and open the door ever so slightly so lara can get in..

She doesn't anything, but then she parts her lips and says in alarm,

"God, you look so sad, what did the Asshole do?"

"nothing!"

"what do you mean nothing? Of course he did something!"

"that's the thing he didn't.."

My eyes water and tears threaten to fall..

"it's me, it's not him, he did nothing wrong.."

At that we both sit on the toilet floor quietly..

I look up at her after a minute or two..

And hesitate for a second, but then whisper,

"I don't think I'm over him...."

She looks at me with her mouth open, with a look of shock and disbelief..

I don't know what to do though..

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So I'm done with this chapter!! Yayy Im sorry that it's so short and empty a bit I guess, sorry about that :'( but anyways as always

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