My Everything

Chapter 12

Jackson sits in the chapel, his hands folded together as he stares at the cross. He couldn't bring himself to look away or move. He sighs as he moves his arms to rest on his legs, never moving his arms. "They should be out of surgery about now." He mumbles to himself. "Well," Derek's voice comes behind him. "I didn't expect to find you in here Avery." Jackson turns around and looks at Derek as he walks over to his side. "Yeah, neither did I. But April would want me in here, so here I am." Derek nods and sits in the pew beside him. "How's the surgery?" Derek looks down and nods slowly. "It's going. You have a beautiful son and they are uh, still working on April." Jackson sighs and looks down at the floor. "So, it's not well. My son is here, but it's not going to mean anything if April can't help me with him. Tell me Derek, tell me the straight facts, no sugar coating." Derek looks up at Jackson. "There's a lot of bleeding. Robbins called Hunt down as I was leaving and sent him for more blood." "Oh my gosh," Jackson says as he buries his head in his hands. "I knew this was a bad idea from the start! God, there isn't even a God! I've been talking to the walls for a whole freaking hour! For nothing!" "Avery," Derek says as he stands up with Jackson. "Being angry at The Lord is not going to help. You can't be mad now. This is what April wanted. She wanted her baby to be safe. Arizona said that she sent her out to go save her baby when she helped deliver that other woman's baby, she's wanted her baby to be safe all along, no matter what the cost for her." Jackson looks at Derek with sad eyes. "But, I want her Derek. I need her. You don't understand." "Try me," Derek says softly. "My father was killed for his watch in front of my eyes. Meredith went under during a C-Section in a power outage. Tell me about wanting the woman you love to be perfectly fine and with you again. Tell me about being angry at The Lord. Embrace the surprises Avery. You're a father now." Jackson nods and looks down at the ground. "Will you go see how he's doing? If he's out of surgery, I'd like to see him."