A Desire for More (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter Thirteen: Making Enemies (but also Friends)

He dragged you away from your seat and pushed you against the back wall of the ship. 

"You compromised this mission,"

You tried to wrench his hand away from your neck but winced when you lifted your arm.  His other hand took hold of your hip and he pushed into your wound, forcing you to cry out. 

"You let him distract you from focusing," he held your throat even tighter.  "You knew who had the map,"  tears sprang to your eyes as he dug his hand into your hip.  "And made it possible for them to escape." 

Using all your energy, you pushed him away from you and collapsed to the floor. 

"I didn't know!" You stared up at him, wanting so badly to hit him.  "I had no clue who had it, how could I-"

"That first time you used The Force in the training room,"  Ren's mask stared down at you.  "You saw members of the Resistance."

You shut your eyes, trying to think back to that moment, trying to think about the thing that was insignificant compared to finding out that your family didn't know who you were.  Your eyes shot open as you realized: you did see someone holding a piece of the map, someone marked with an old tattered symbol.  An old member of the Rebellion. 

"Commander, I'm-"  your breathed in sharply as you crawled to your feet to face him.  "I'm sorry, I should have recognized them.  But maybe I can find them, maybe I could-"

He turned away from you sharply and walked to the front towards the pilots, leaving you alone once again in the back of the shuttle. 

You sank back to the floor, trying to hold in a sob and ignore all your pain.  I compromised the mission, I couldn't do it, I couldn't kill him. 

Kylo's words kept ringing in the back of your mind, making you feel even worse about your failure.  You put your head in your hands, hating the different emotions he put your through.  Hating how he could go from lulling you to sleep and comforting you, to causing you pain and berating you. 

You dragged yourself to your feet again when the shuttle landed and wiped your eyes, deciding you should probably head to the medbay.  You avoided looking at Ren as you limped down the ramp and tried to mentally prepare yourself for the long walk through base. 

Before you could take a step, you felt arms looping around the back of your knees and you shrieked as the Commander tossed you over his shoulder. 

Your hip burned from being pressed into his thick shoulder and your shoulder ached hanging down his back, but you chose to keep your mouth shut and decided this was better than limping through base. 

Why couldn't he just carry me like a fucking baby if he was going to go to the trouble?

His hand swat at your ass, leaving a sting.  Your mouth dropped open in horror, but the hallway was empty. 

"You've got to be kidding me," your voice was muffled against his back.

"And you've got to keep your mouth shut,"  his booming, altered voice bounced around the metal walls and you silently pleaded with him to be quiet.  The fucking hallway isn't going to stay empty if you keep talking like that.  

"You were literally just screaming at me," you muttered against his cloak, feet kicking at his chest slightly.  "I can't keep up with your fucking emotions, dude." 

"If you had done what you were told, you wouldn't have to."

Once you reached the medbay, he dropped you on your feet, causing pain to shoot through your hip and up your waist. 

"Shit," you whispered under your breath and you glared at him. 

The same doctor from the day before saw you and simply nodded before leading you to some different medical equipment.

"Report to the same place as you did yesterday."

You rolled your eyes as Ren left, knowing he couldn't see you.  After everything he just said and did, he wants me to go to his room again?  Yeah, right.

Your smirk turned into a grimace as the machines poked at your wounds, digging into the torn flesh and pulling it shut again. 

"I wouldn't say I'm surprised to see you again," the doctor smiled down at you with pity, his pale green eyes looking at you sympathetically, running his fingers through his salt and pepper hair.  "But I didn't think you'd be back so soon with equally atrocious injuries." 

You laughed slightly and unfurled your hand from around the sheets and extended it to him.

"I'm Slona," your brow furrowed slightly, realizing it was the first time you had introduced yourself using that name. 

"Nice to meet you officially, Slona.  I'm Doctor Canmore."  He shook your hand gently and gave another soft smile.

You smiled back at him and sat up, realizing the machines were almost done. 

"Alright, these bandages will dissolve just as the one did yesterday, but there will most likely be bruising and soreness for the next few days.  Also-"

"Let me guess: there'll be a scar." 

He nodded and his pitying grimace reappeared.  You climbed off the bed and shook his hand once more before limping slightly towards the door. 

You leaned against the door of the medbay after it slid shut and smiled to yourself.  For the first time, well, ever, you felt like you had made a friend.