After waking up to an empty bed without any sign of where Kylo had gone, you half-heartedly trudged to your room, deciding to wait for an order from him. Days passed without hearing from him, leaving you to half limp, half pace around your bedroom or stand outside of his locked quarters.
By the time he finally showed up, the pain in your hip and shoulder had almost completely disappeared.
You jumped from your bed when the door slid open, trying to prevent yourself from racing out of the room and launching yourself into his arms. What am I? A wife waiting for her husband to come home from war?
He motioned to you wordlessly and you followed him down the hallways into the training room. You stood watching him in the doorway, waiting for some sort of explanation as to where he had been or some instruction. You held your breath as you heard the hissing latches of his helmet, jumping slightly when he tossed it to the floor. Your mind began to wander as you looked at his face, remembering how strong his lips had been, how soft his hair was...
Pinching yourself, you plopped down as he snapped his fingers and gestured for you to sit on the floor.
"Because of your mistake in the last mission," you turned to glare at him but he just stared straight ahead at the mirror. "It is now your responsibility to find the person who has the map again."
Your mind began to race: not only were you unsure of whether or not you could find the Resistance member, you found something deep inside of you, a feeling telling you that you shouldn't do it.
"Excuse me sir," he finally turned to face you, but avoided making eye contact. "I'm not positive I will be able to, um, do that again."
His eyes finally met yours, expression dark and unreadable. "This is an order, not a request."
You stared at him in confusion, wondering why he was behaving differently, wondering what had happened while he was gone. You stood up slowly, tilting your head, your eyes searching his as you stepped towards him.
"Where have you been?" You asked him hesitantly, knowing how he might react when probed. "What mission have you been on that I couldn't follow?"
He turned away and faced the mirror again, his fingers balling in and out of fists.
"That's none of your concern," he muttered after a moment, his eyes darting around the room slightly.
"Don't give me that shit," frustration grew inside you as you took hold of his shoulder, wrenching him around to face you. "What have you really been doing?"
He shoved your hand off his shoulder and stepped forward, towering over you.
"The Supreme Leader," he spoke slowly with his eyes narrowed, as if he didn't want to say it. "He thinks that you're becoming a distraction. He thinks that your loyalty may not lie with the First Order."
You ripped your eyes away from his, looking everywhere but him, chewing on one of your fingers. So they have sensed it.
"I'm still here, aren't I?" You shrugged at him, trying to make him believe you hadn't had thoughts of disloyalty. "If what you're saying is true, I would've left by now."
"You've said it yourself, you're not sure if you're on the 'right side.'" He looked at you scathingly, not entirely believing you but desperately wanting to.
You sighed and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to figure out what to do.
"Look," you opened your eyes and stepped towards him. "I'll help you find the map, ok? My loyalty lies with you,"
YOU ARE READING
A Desire for More (Kylo Ren x Reader)
Fanfiction"every night her thoughts weighed heavily on her soul but every morning she would get up to fight another day, every night she survived." - r.h. sin *completed!* You have recently discovered your Force sensitivity. Fearing that the Resistance would...
