A Desire for More (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter Twenty One: It's So Bittersweet

*ugh, ok this chapter is probably like really sappy and cheesy but I hope that the people who like fluffy content might like it! I felt like there's a lot of emotions that y/n is dealing with, lots of stuff she needs to take care of*
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You woke up feeling insufferably hot, still trapped in Kylo's suffocating embrace. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his bare chest pressed to your back.

You lay still against him, feeling his warm breath against your neck. As hot and uncomfortable as you were, you were unwilling to leave his side, wanting to feel as close to him as possible.

Though he was sleeping, you could easily see inside his mind, sense his feelings. With little effort, you saw the brokenness and the hurt that sat in the front of his mind and the agonizing fear of you leaving.

If you decided to stay, as he had silently, desperately pleaded with you to, you knew that your relationship would suffer, the memory of your fight driving a wedge between you.

Slowly, carefully, silently, you rolled in Kylo's arms to face him, look into his face. A soft smile crept to your face as you looked at him, tracing a finger along his prefect skin, memorizing every inch of it.

With a heavy heart, you closed your eyes and placed your hand faintly on his cheek. You looked into his mind again, focusing on the pain of what happened hours before, the discovery of your plan, and your betrayal.

Leaving your hand on his face, you imagined collecting those memories and holding them in your fist, pulling them away from his mind. Taking advantage of your growing power in the Force and Kylo's weakened emotional state, you were able to remove all the pain that sat in his mind, making it seem (at least to him) that everything that had taken place that night never happened.

Once you were quite sure Kylo would have no recollection of anything, you twisted yourself back around in his arms and rested the back of your head on his chest.

You held tightly to Kylo's arms, holding them against you. You took deep breaths, trying to calm your mind, lose yourself in his embrace.

You knew for certain now that you wanted to join the Resistance, to leave your life in the First Order behind. But still, Kylo was holding you back, making the thought of you leaving sound unthinkable, impossible.

If only there was a way for you to convince him to leave with you, to leave behind all of the pain and destruction that connected him to the First Order, to start a new life. With you.

As you lay next to him, you began to imagine a life with Kylo, a life away from all the suffering you both had experienced. Where you could live happily, spending every morning in bed together before leaving for another adventure.

You pictured Kylo smiling, really smiling, something you'd never actually seen, having never been able to get anything more than a smirk or a grimace from him.

You imagined what his laugh would sound like, how he would behave if he were truly happy, how he would act if... if he were in love.

Images of Kylo flashed in your mind, seeing him do and say things you'd never seen him do in real life. You saw him smiling deeply at you, saw him cradling you to his chest, looking like the happiest man in the world.

The sound of Kylo muttering in his sleep tore you from this daydream, ripping you back to reality. You once again flipped over to face him, pushing a small piece of hair that had fallen over his nose off of his face.

You stared at him, taking in this broken man who sought you out, who secretly wanted your affection, your love.

Tears began welling in your eyes (big surprise) as you looked at him, desperately wanting to fix his brokenness, wanting him to help you fix your own. More than anything, you wanted the two of you to become inseparable, to open yourselves up to each other entirely, to live your lives as one spirit, indescribably happy.

You cupped his face with your hand again, your thumb running over his bottom lip. Soft sighs escaped him, making the little pieces of hair that rested on his face flutter. You smiled at him, loving the way that he looked while he was sleepy, loving how soft and innocent he looked.

You found yourself wondering if Kylo ever looked at you the way you looked at him, wondering if he returned the intense affection you had for him, wondering if he ever looked at you like you were the only thing in the universe. . .

"Slona?"

Your eyes fluttered open, realizing that you had begun to doze off.

"Kylo,"

He smiled at you ever so slightly, confirming that he had no memory of what had happened hours before.

"Go back to sleep, little one."

You nestled closer to him, resting your forehead on his chest, tossing your leg over his thigh, making you both impossibly close. One of Kylo's hands rested on your hip, the other lightly running through your hair.

You let out one last deep breath as you fell back to sleep, hopelessly trying to forget everything that happened too.

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*alright, get ready babes because the next chapter is going to be the one and ONLY chapter from Kylo's point of view*