Delusional Love

Chapter 2: Christian

"Chris, it's 7:30. You better be up and ready for school."

Christian sat up in bed, rubbing the tiredness and misery from his face with the swipe of a hand. He would say he wasn't a morning person but considering the alternative, he would take what he could get.

His morning's weren't too intense, just the basic hygiene shit. With a few added measures to ease the pain. He downed the bitter pills in a gulp, dry swallowing it with ease. He had been practicing, after all.

Dark humor. Only way to keep himself together sometimes, mentally. It was..was hard.

Christian considered razor blades often. After the last time, his father catching him. Yeah he learned his lesson then. The only one who could leave a mark on him was his dad.

He walked around; every day, with all this..he wasn't sure how to put it into words. Anger yeah but..not anger.

His fingers itched at his sides, everything bottled up inside of him. The only release was to feel something. That was the only solution.

He considered other people. When someone got on his nerves or did things he didn't like. How easy it would be to hurt them and how satisfying it would be. How at ease he imagined he'd feel afterwards.

He wouldn't pretend like he'd gotten better. Or that the stuff he went through was an excuse for all the darkness inside of him. Those demons were deeply rooted, he was sick.

But the one thing he refused to be was his father. So..if he had to take pills, if he had to drown himself out to get through the day, to stop himself, that's what he'd do.

Christian went to one of Portland's most expensive and exclusive private high schools, along with about 200 other boys and girls. You either had to be rich, talented, or a fucking genius to be accepted in.

He hated it there, even his friends were stuck up pricks but then again he kinda was too. And they were all fucking annoying so he didn't mind losing a few.

He got dressed in his stuffy uniform, making sure his tie was perfectly knotted and tucked evenly into his vest.

He grabbed at the coffee that was already on the pot, downing the scolding liquid and inhaling his toast.

"You in a hurry?" His father walked into the kitchen, tall in his expensive suit. He eyed Christian as he collected his breakfast.

"Late.." He said around his food, giving nothing away. However 'I hate you' were the words he'd been looking for.

His father tried making conversation as he did every other day and Christian gave short replies or even simple nodes to show the man he was listening even though he truly couldn't give a shit what he was saying.

It was all just bullshit he said to try and ease his guilty conscience. Pretending like he hadn't just..

He shook off the thought, swinging his bag over his shoulder. He collected his keys and made way for the front door.

"Christian."

His fingers had just brushed the doorknob. So close. He faced the man, giving him a questioning look. Richard smiled at him, as much as his stature would allow.

No matter how much he wanted to tell the guy off, he knew it was a bad idea.

In public he could do whatever the hell he wanted, say whatever he wanted no problem. But when it was just him and his dad alone, Richard held nothing back.

His eyes fixated on the clock just passed the man's head as his father looked him over. His slightly wrinkled features narrowed in focus.

"I see you're finally paying attention." He gestured to Christians chest, nodding proud.