A Messed Up Mistake

08

❥︎❥︎

I found myself sitting in the middle of the crowded room again. I am unentertained, unamused even. I don't see my purpose of being here in this ball aside from being my mother's daughter. Aside from maintaining that good image, I have no reason to be here at all. I feel like my mom's walking achievements. I just don't know if that's a good thing or not.

For the first time today, I decided to check my phone and I made sure to keep it hidden from my mom's eyes. I wouldn't like it if she confiscates it right now. A sigh of disappointment and distress escaped my lips as I saw tons of messages from the same number again. He was throwing hurtful words that doesn't have an effect on me anymore but reading through them makes me feel sick. How long is he gonna do this?

I excused myself to head to the powder room so I can compose myself. I wanted to remove the make-up on my face badly but I can't. At least not yet.

And when I took a look of my reflection on the mirror, I could barely recognize myself. Is this how mom sees me? The dress is fine, perfect even. Does she really think it doesn't look good on me? It might mean nothing for her but her words about me means a lot to me.

My phone started ringing again as I sat it on the marble top of the powder room. Does he not have anything else to do in life than to chase me?

You brought this to yourself, Aoki.

My eyes shot up through the window when I started hearing my mom's voice. Did I just imagine things? Funny thing, she'd definitely say those words without hesitation.

"You need to fix this." I told myself, fighting the urge to run my palms on my face out of distress and the building frustration.

I took my clutch and my phone with me as I step out of the powder room. Not seeing any familiar faces, I stride towards the exit of the hall without hesitation. It was cold outside but it felt way more better than the air inside that hall.

With enough courage and annoyance, I phone him up, hoping that it's the right thing to do.

"Aoki-"

"What is it that you want from me, Ken?" I asked him as soon as he answered the call. Even saying his name feels odd to me now. He was a person from my past-a person of my past mistakes.

Mistakes that I never want my mom to know about.

I got shivers when I heard him laugh on the other end. "You fucking bitch. You know what I want. You should stop making things hard for the two of us and just come back to me. This isn't our thing, love. I'm not the person to chase someone but you're fucking good at making me do things."

"Ken, we've broken up." I tell him like I haven't for over ten times now. I used to feel sad whenever I say those words to him because I truly adored him even for the short time we were together behind my mother's back.

"No. No. No. Don't you say that to me, you fucking slut. You weren't like this when you were with me back in my place-"

"Ken!" I raised my voice to drown his voice, not wanting to hear his next words. It used to be beautiful memories and now, he's making me realize that it was nothing more than a mistake. My mistake.

"Look, you should stop this all. I'm not joking around, Ken."

"So you think you can just get out of this relationship easily? You've always had the easy way with me, love. And I've had enough!" He sounded hurt and mad, and as much as I want to talk things through to remind him that we are over, I can't. I don't think I have enough strength to deal with him tonight. He doesn't seem to be in the right state to talk as well.