A Messed Up Mistake

39

❥︎❥︎

For the second time, my heart dropped really hard and fast with what I was told.

"What..." I don't know how I managed to let out a lifeless laugh after what he just told me. "Is this some kind of a joke? I swear this isn't funny. Please stop joking around."

First, his dad and now, him? Seriously. I can't deal with this on the same day. I'm afraid I have no energy nor strength left.

"I heard your conversation with dad earlier." The seriousness in his voice made me froze on my spot. "You know I can't let him do that, right?"

"Yeah. No. He's not gonna be the donor." I immediately cleared up so he'd stop this shit he's trying to pull because I'm not liking it at all.

"Yeah? And if we won't try anything your mother will die."

I looked at him with my bloodshot eyes, unable to believe what he just said. It felt like a wake up slap to me. He didn't have to say that. Not now when I'm barely holding on to whatever just to stay strong. That's so insensitive of him regardless of his purpose for saying that.

I felt my tears forming again and I took a step away from him, turning my back on him so he wouldn't see how hurt I am right now.

"Aoki—"

"No." I shake my head no, stopping him from saying anything more.

"You're not doing this to me too, Taeyong. Please."

"I'll undergo some more tests and checkups later to see how qualified am I to be the donor—" I didn't let him finish and I started hitting his chest, crying helplessly because he wouldn't listen to me.

"Aoki, please. You're hurting yourself."

"You can't do this to me. You can't do this. Please, goddamn it! Listen to me! Why is no one listening to me?!" I am frustrated, scared and anxious at the moment and yelling is a way to cope.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. I told you it's gonna be okay, right?" He tries calming me down.

"I'm not gonna be okay without you." I cried harder, shaking me head like a toddler. He kept on mumbling that it's gonna be okay and that I'm gonna be okay. He holds me in his arms until there wasn't any tear for my to cry at all.

We sat on the couch, still in each other's arms, my eyes were swollen and my nose is runny yet he's still calm, keeping me close to him. I'm still slightly sniffling and Taeyong was brushing my hair with his fingers, wanting me to just sleep. I can't. I don't want to.

"You should sleep now." He says as if he knew what was on my mind.

"If I sleep now, I don't want to wake up again." I uttered, my voice a bit hoarse.

"Don't say that." He scolds me

I ignored that and just snuggled closer to him, feeling his warmth as I try to close my eyes, gaslighting myself into believing that all of this isn't true, that I'm just dreaming.

A really really terrible dream.

When I woke up, I found myself in my room and the first thing I did was search for Taeyong. I'm afraid that he left me here and... Oh. My racing thoughts were put to an end when I almost jumped just to get downstairs and there I saw Taeyong cooking in the kitchen with his back facing me.

I sighed in so much relief as I head back upstairs to take a quick shower and went I came back to my room, Taeyong was sitting on my bed, deep in thoughts.