Zero Two Three One | John Laurens X Reader [Hamilton]

LV: One Second Is All It Takes

❝I think, for myself, life lied to me.❞
—Paula White

"What do you mean 'berate' you?" Alexander gives me a nasty glare. One like he's never given me before.

"You're going to use this as your chance to ridicule me like a stupid school girl with no conscious, and I won't have it, Alexander!"

Alexander sucks in a deep breath. "Hell yeah, I'm going to ridicule you! You think I didn't see how close you were to Monroe?!"

"Oh, fuck off, Alexander! Like you've never gotten that close to anyone before! I've seen you with Eliza!"

"That's different!"

"'That's different'," I mock his voice, then scoff. "Shut the hell up, Alexander, for once in your goddamn life. Leave me the fuck alone."

I turn away and stomp down the sidewalk. I put quite a bit of distance between us before Alexander catches up and grabs my hand. 

"(Y/N), stop. You're just drunk."

I tug my hand away and continue my path. I don't know where I'm going, I just know that I'm trying to get away from Alexander.

"I said to leave me alone!"

"(Y/N)," his voice is sterner now. I can hear the agitation and frustration in his tone. "(Y/N), where are you going?!"

"I'm going to find John!"

I hear Alexander's footsteps falter. "What?"

"I told John to come and get me. He'll be here soon."

"Why the hell would you do that?!"

"Why wouldn't I?!" I counter.

"Because he killed your family! Do you know how fucked up that is?!"

"We don't know if he did!"

"Still! You're seeking company from the man who has the blood of hundreds on his hands!"

"You say that as though our hands are clean! We've killed people before! Hell, the only reason we are even in America is to kill people!"

"You- God, you don't understand how much I hate him!"

I bare my teeth, a voice in my mind telling me to defend him. "Well, I don't hate him! He's been a really great guy to me and... and I don't care if you hate him!" I can't believe I'm saying this out loud.

"You should care."

"And why should I, Alexander?!" I bellow. 

"Because I am right more than I am wrong."

"Goddammit, Alexander! Maybe I'm right about this! Why don't you think I'm ever right?!"

"You can't be right about him. He's dangerous."

"At least he gives me a sliver of attention! He makes me feel like I matter! Unlike you, Alexander!"

"I do give you attention! I came all the way out here to find you!"

"Yeah, and what have you been doing this past week?! Completely ignoring my existence!" I think back to what James and his friends once spoke about, and I get choked up at one realization: "You traded me away for someone more powerful! Just like everyone else on this island. You fit right in."

By now, we're far away from the club, walking about vacant streets of lively buildings. We're alone out here.

"I didn't trade you away, (Y/N)," Alexander hisses, sounding increasingly annoyed.