sugawara x reader || never alone

Chapter 1: Hesitation

a/n: i never rlly re-edited this book like i said i would, but just a warning. i was t w e l v e when i started this book, i think the grammar and writing was act pretty good but a lot of it is prob cliche/cringe ><

maybe i'm too hard on myself but who knows lol. 

I shakily made my way to Class 3-4 (This is a Suga x Reader so I THINK that's the class that he's in...?), only thinking of the worst possible scenarios of my first day at Karasuno. My feet dragged with every step, dread pouring out of each action. What if no one liked me? What if I end up sitting next to somebody annoying? What if I'm bullied? I had no friends that went to Karasuno, so I decided that I'd have to toughen up a bit and get used to it until I do get friends.

I came across the very threatening-looking doorway that I would have to enter. The sign at the top read "3-4," so I hesitantly stepped in. There was about half a class full of people inside. They were all taller. And older. And bigger. I gulped and walked to a seat in the back corner of the class, in order to avoid contact with as many people as possible. I cringed at my own actions as soon as I sat down. (y/n)(l/n), you are so antisocial.

I felt anxiety bubbling up inside of me, causing tears to well in my eyes. At this point in my life, I was used to my eyes never being dry. I realized that sometimes I had trouble evaluating my own emotions. I would feel so incredibly happy to be joining the so-called prestigious Karasuno that I'd cry, yet I'd fail to notice how I'd be leaving other things behind, like my best friends, as well. I would be able to cry over the smallest things, like watching a heartwarming television show or the overwhelming guilt of getting a 90% on a group project when I couldn't even shed a tear when my mother passed away.

I loved her more than the world and losing her was like losing a part of me as well. Everyone thought I was holding back until I got home. In reality, I couldn't break down. Of course, my father's grief did have a part of it, and I did not want him to hurt anymore. But, selfish as it may seem, I didn't cry because I felt like if I broke the barrier between my emotions and reality, it wouldn't ever be repaired. In other words, my wounds would never heal. An emotional breakdown wouldn't benefit anything. Now, I don't know how to control my emotions at all. I guess bottling things up could only go so far.

I snapped out of my thoughts and averted my eyes towards the front of the room. Class still hadn't started.

I glanced around me. The room was silent. I nearly jumped out of my seat when I had seen nearly the entire room of people staring right at me.

Word count: 465

Hi, there, readers! This is my first ever fanfic!! I hope you like it, I'm just a kid with no life who's obsessed with my cinnamon roll, Suga 

a/n 4/14/21: sorry :(( at this time i had no idea how x readers worked so (y/n) is less vague and more like a pre-planned oc with no name - read if you wish but keep that in mind!